Shadow Kiss Alternate Ending
by writerlover7
Summary: What would happen if Rose had saved Dimitri. They will face challenges together while trying to hid their so they aren't separated. Not the best summary, but oh well it's my first one:) I know it's been done before, but please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guy this is my first story so I hope you like it:) I know it has been done before and that this story is a little late considering Richelle Mead is already on the third book of the Bloodlines series, but i wanted to do it.:p Reviews are welcome. I own none of this and all rights to the wonderful Richelle Mead. Enjoy!:)**

Shadow Kiss Alternate Ending

Chapter 1

Kirova and I were locked in a staring match with my mom and Alberta on either side of us. It was like an interrogation scene on one of those cheap crime shows. I always thought I would be the interrogator not the criminal. But at this point I didn't care where I was sitting, since I didn't want to be here at all.

"This is a waste of time!" I exclaimed. "I can't be here right now." Dimitri, the love of my life, was at the school's hospital in critical condition. He had been bitten by Strigoi during a rescue mission and barely made it out alive. Truthfully I was the only reason he was here. Everyone else was willing to let him die in the cave the Strigoi and their victims were lodged in. I was not going to let him stay there.

"Miss Hathaway you being by GuardianBelikov's side isn't going to change a thing," replied Kirova in her clam, strict manner that has pissed me off from the first moment I've heard her speak.

"Yeah and being here isn't going to change anything either. We can discuss the fact that I saved my mentor after he's off his death bed. That fact isn't going to run away while I'm down there with him"

"No, but you might" my mother, Janine Hathaway, muttered. I shot a look her way. We grew closer with the death of a close friend Mason, but that was still a low shot. I had run away with Vasilisa Dragomir, to protect her. Lissa has a rare kind of magic called spirit. We wanted to keep this a secret incase people decided to use her. Dimitri was the head of the guardians who brought us back. Ironically danger came to Lissa while at the Academy, in the form of Victor Dashkov. He kidnapped her to use her spirit healing powers to keep him alive. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if we had decided to leave again. Whenever I try to imagine it though, Dimitri pops into my mind. Despite my mom's belief, there was no running away now.

"Listen", I replied, "I don't get why this is such a big deal. I had the courage to go back in while you stayed outside. I'm Superman, no wait Wonder Women. You guys are like the bystanders. I saved a great guardian and I'm being holed up in here like a prisoner?" I was terrified they had found out about Dimitri's and my relationship. I mean a seventeen year old and a twenty four year old together isn't exactly legal, not forgetting the fact he's my mentor. If I was going to go down, I was falling out Rosemarie Hathaway style.

"No that part of it is not a big deal," said Alberta. "In fact we all agree your bravery should be acknowledged. The problem in this situation is that there is suspicion that there is an, uh, affair between you and Dimi-, uh, Guardian Belikov." I morphed my expression into what I hoped was disbelief. Quickly I debated between continuing the professional tone they were using or speaking in a way that was more me.

"You think," I decided subtlety was not the way to lie here. "You think I'm having sex with Dimitri? You're kidding right? I knew that most of the school thought I was a whore, but I didn't expect you guys to believe that gossip." Sure, my reaction was a little over the top. I just didn't think, despite the fact that I'm an amazing liar, that I could fool them without a dramatic show. My body was physically drained, my mind was mentally drained, and I was so done with this conversation. I just wanted to check on Dimitri, something which most likely wouldn't happen now, and go back to my room.

"You two have seem to be growing closer," my mom said. Though I hated that she was in on this conversation since she barely knows me, I was glad for her interruption. Kirova probably had a whole speech going that would defiantly include my inappropriate word selection of sex.

"One," I snapped at my mom, "You can't say anything about me or him because you have not been here. Two of course we've grown closer. He saved me from being expelled and trained me to be at the top of my class. We've been through Lissa's kidnapping, Mason's death, spirit's side effects, and now the attack on the school together. How could two people not develop a bound after that." Lissa and I had a type of magical bound, one that resulted from her bringing me back from the death with spirit. Dimitri and I had a different connection though. Even if we didn't have strong feelings, we'd still have a tight tie to each other. He's taught me respect and how to be a great guardian and I've taught him to loosen up a little bit and enjoy life.

"So there are no romantic aspects to your relationship?" Alberta questioned. I mentally braced myself to tell the most important lie of my life.

"No."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews:) Again I own nothing. This chapters a little longer so i hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 2

I walked to my dorm in silence. They had actually believed me. All of a sudden reality hit me. Dimitri and I had talked about having to stay apart until graduation, but the seriousness of what we were doing didn't register until now. If they had seen through my lie, everything would be gone. Before I could even open my door, it snapped open and Lissa came rushing out.

"Rose!" she exclaimed. "I was so worried. I heard you ran back into the cave and then I couldn't find and you I just didn't know what to do." Through the bond I felt her emotions go crazy. I sucked some of the darkness out of her and felt it go into me. Later I would have to work out to let some of it escape.

"Calm down, I'm fine. I was at Kirova's office. They accused me of being with Dimitri." I could see the shock in her face. Through the bond I could hear Lissa thinking. She believed that I was and then she didn't. She couldn't imagine it and then she could. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "I told them I'm not, which is the truth." That's not how I meant it to come out. I wanted to tell her how I felt, how much I loved him. Something stopped me. I think I was just so scared if I said it out loud someone besides Lissa would hear. I contemplated telling the truth, but I just couldn't. I had to talk to Dimitri about it when he woke up.

"You just had me terrified. I thought you were dead! Never do that again." She didn't say anything about Dimitri which had me worried. The bond told me she believed me, but Lissa had gotten really good at hiding her feelings. "I have to go meet with Adrian. We're working on a way to get rid of the darkness without you taking it."

"Punch something," I suggested, making her laugh. She hadn't flat out laughed in a while. I had missed it.

"Oh and I tried to heal Dimitri. Dr. Olendzki wouldn't let me. She said it would take too much energy and I had already used to much spirit." With that she walked out of the room and left me with a sinking sensation. Lissa knew that I loved him. She knew and for some reason she was letting me lie.

Three days later Dimitri woke up. It was by pure coincidence that I found out the second he did. I had been working out, trying to get rid of the darkness from Lissa. I started taking down practice dummies and before I knew it hours had passed and my hands were bloody. Honestly I could've bandaged my knuckles at the gym, but I wanted an excuse to check on Dimitri. And by some miracle he was actually conscious. Dr. Olendzki still had other patients to tend to from the attack so I got to see him alone.

He was facing the opposite wall when I walked through his door. I was kind of jealous he got his own room. I hold the world record for most times in a hospital and I never got privacy. He turned around and his eyes shone. For some reason I was still at the door. Why wasn't I by his side?

"Hey," he quietly said.

"Hi." I was paralyzed. While Dimitri was asleep I had tried to stay positive, but deep inside I was terrified I was going to lose him. And I didn't. That very thought had me stunned and my face probably looked like a surprised lemur because of that. "I got called to Kirova's and they accused us of having a relationship." The light in his eyes turned to dread and I immediately regretted me words. Dimitri doesn't usually let go of his guardian mask and I wasted a precious moment.

"What did you say?" He was worried, but not for himself. I could see it in his face that he didn't care about happened to him as long as my future wasn't affected. That killed me.

"I lied through my teeth and they bought it. I lied to Lissa too, she didn't believe me. I wanted to tell her so bad, but I needed to talk to you. Not even about her or our secret, I just needed to talk." Somehow this confession gave me the power to walk to his side.

"So you're safe?" I have never been an overly serious or emotional. I mean I've always wanted to protect Lissa and I loved my friends, but it was always in a care free way. When Mason or Eddie was hurt I'd worry, but always make some sort of joke out of it. Now with Dimitri hurt I couldn't even crack a smile. My friends have barely been able to tolerate me. And now with him obsessing over my well being when I've been doing the same with him, it just broke me.

"Yeah I am," I cried, climbing into bed next to him, "now that you are." I wanted to kiss him so bad, but I couldn't. If someone walked in I could explain sitting next to him. Kissing him would be a little harder to cover up. I suppose I could pretend I was giving him mouth to mouth, but I doubt that would be very believable. We did a short medical course before I had run away with Lissa and it didn't go very well. I got kicked out by pretending to make out with a dummy behind the instructors back. "You're turning me into mush," I laugh-sobbed. If a person can even do that. He laughed along with me and I felt complete. Later I would have to talk to Lissa and explain why I lied, but right now it was just him and me. And the IV attached to his arm.

I left Dimitri shortly after to not give anyone a reason to be suspicious. Then I went to find Lissa. She was in her room with Christian. Thankfully they were just talking. Unfortunately it was about me. I started to walk a little slower so I could hear the whole conversation. I know it's bad. My best friend saved my life and now I'm using a side effect of that to spy on her. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

"Why are you so worried about her? I know you want to take care of her, but she's capable of doing it herself." One thing about Christian is he won't sugar coat anything. He'd tell you what he thought, good or bad. We were a lot alike in that way well except for Lissa. As a guardian it was my job to make the horrible things less horrible for Lissa and as a friend I considered it my duty. He didn't share the same beliefs.

"I just feel like she's hiding something. I can't be sure, but if she is, I hope it isn't something that's hurting her." God bless Lissa. Every bad thing I've ever said about her (and yes I'm ashamed to admit there had been times) I take back. Me not telling her about Dimitri was killing her, something until now she had managed to hide from me. Instead of spilling my secret she was playing innocent to Christian. I was so grateful. Then again it only made me feel that much guilty. I hadn't planned on telling Christian too, but now I had to. I couldn't have Lissa lie to her love about mine. When I reached her dorm I didn't even knock, opting to stroll right in.

"Before you two try to be all secretive," I began, "I just want to let you know I heard the whole conversation.

"You said you wouldn't do that anymore," Lissa exclaimed. I usually didn't, mostly because I have no interest in viewing one of their make out sessions.

"I know I was just trying to figure out where you are." I took a deep sigh and began. "Here's the thing I don't want you to have to lie to Christian and I'm sorry I lied to you. I know you know that I love Dimitri." Both Christian and Lissa tried to say something, but I held up my hand. "I just wanted you to know that I lied because I was scared of saying it out loud. Doing that makes things real and when things become real they get broken." It was amazing how much better I felt getting that off my chest. Lissa came over with tears in her eyes while Christian just looked, for lack of a better word, dumb.

"What's a matter Sparky? Cat got your tongue?" I saw a smirk come onto his face and prepared myself for what he was going to say next.

"No, but a Russians got yours." Nice to know things are back to normal.

I nervously waited outside the Queen's door. Yeah you heard me right, I said the Queen. Last night Lissa got a call that invited her to the Royal Court. I was told to come to along with Christian. We had no idea what the summoning was about. Lissa was the first to go into the room and I figured out what was happening through the bond.

"She wants our opinion on Kirova. She wants to know if we think we need a new head master," I whispered to Christian. Though I was glad she valued our views I was kind of pissed. This is the Queen needing help from seventeen year olds because the Moroi community was so split they couldn't decide on the simple topic of a school. There was no doubt in my mind that's what was happening. There were three sides, the actually decent royals who care about what's right, the assholes that care only about themselves, and the assholes who care about nothing expect for alcohol.

"How is Lissa responding?" I knew he was curious how he should react. Christian is a little awkward in situations like this. I don't blame him. Since his parents turned Strigoi by choice everyone thinks badly of him.

"In a perfect way of course. She's not giving her exact true thoughts, but she's not saying exactly what the Queen wants to hear." Lissa really wanted to tell her to get out of the school's business. I agreed with her. Despite the fact Kirova isn't my favorite person she actually is great at her job. If she was replaced it would be by a royal that falls into one of the asshole categories. They wouldn't give recognition to anyone, but the perfect little royals. Damphirs and non-royals would be screwed.

"I have to react like that to, Rose. You're the only one of us who can speak your mind because the Queen already expects you too." I knew what he said was true, but it wasn't exactly reassuring that I was expected to be an unprofessional bitch.

My turn was next. I walked into the room and saw Queen Tatiana sitting on a chair that was almost a throne. She wore a powered blue skirt with a white blouse and a tiara. Whatever I felt about her, and let me tell you the feelings aren't of fondness, she sure did look the part of a queen.

"Rosemarie Hathaway. Pleasure to see you again." I realized I had forgotten to bow and did so. "I assume you already know why you're here?" Ah, so she did pay enough attention to me to realize I would use the bound.

"Yes your majesty and may I speak my opinion?" I replied with only a hint of resentment, half expecting her to say no.

"Of course." If I spoke with a little bitterness she spoke with a whole truck load. Frankly I wonder if she just talks to me to piss me off. I know she won't listen to what I have to say. She's just another bully, waiting for a reaction.

"I think it's a terrible idea. No offense of course." I actually didn't mean to be offensive. I dislike her with a strong passion, but I know that it must suck for people to always be shutting down your suggestions. "Royals are the reason the wards got messed up in the first place. Putting a royal in the office would just allow more things to happen. I'm not saying all royals are corrupt, but a lot are. You should know you have to deal with them every day. The government is already crashing; you want the school to too?" With that I bowed one for time and walked out. I had the feeling that if I stayed any longer I'd end up in the dungeon. I just hope I made and impact. Yeah, right

We decided to stay the night at court since no one wanted any risk of meeting Strigoi. After getting dinner and walking around the three of us said goodnight to Ryan (the poor guy who assigned to be our guardian at court) and went to our rooms. On the way there I could tell through the bond that Lissa was questioning something.

"Spit it out," I said more harshly then I wanted to. Lissa recognized that I was still angry with the Queen and let it go.

"Why didn't Dimitri come? I mean he's my guardian and your mentor." I could practically feel Christian itching to say something. Luckily he knew not to push my buttons tonight. Strangely Lissa said exactly what I expected him to. "Oh of course your lover can't forget about that." I laughed and lightly elbowed her.

"Girls," Christian muttered. I'm sure he couldn't understand why I hadn't ripped Lissa's throat out for saying what he was thinking.

"Stop complaining Sparky. I would've of killed you for saying that because you're you. And because he's needed at the Academy since we lost a lot of guardian and they- uh never mind that's it."

"What?" Lissa asked. I pretended to ignore her, but couldn't help smiling when she said, _I know you hear me and it's not nice to keep secrets_, through the bond.

"Tomorrow's my big chance," I said and continued to elaborate after seeing their wondering expressions. "Since so much of the field experience was affected by Mason's ghost they said I could do the exercise here to." I didn't want to admit it, but I was kind of nervous. I mean I failed a the first part of the one at school, who's to say I won't do the same this time.

"Wait so we're going to be attacked by fake Strigoi?" Lissa said, also nervous. Even though the danger wasn't real, the realization that their life would soon consist of being outside of the safe wards was.

"No, at least it's not supposed to happen. Some of the court guardians will watch me to see if I'm doing stuff like technique correctly. There shouldn't be any violence, but hey you never know." And with that cheery thought I walked into my room. I didn't want to be around when Christian and Lissa chose to share a room. I had just put on my pajamas when I heard a knock. I opened the door and there he was. My knight in shining armor, my cowboy in his duster.

"What are you doing here?" I was already breathless from him being here. It took him a minute to peel his eyes away from me too answer. I was suddenly glad I had worn my shorts and tank top.

"I'm here to judge your field experience and I thought-" I didn't give him a chance to finish. In the next second his lips were on mine and I was in heaven. We hadn't kissed at all since the night of the cabin and I couldn't get enough. I was in love and for the moment that was all that mattered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter! I know the story's going a little slow, but I promise it will speed up soon. I own nothing though I defiantly wish I did. Enjoy:) **

Chapter 3

Lissa came over the next morning so we could talk before the field experience. I honestly tried to pay attention to her ramblings about shoes and Christian wanting to get a tattoo (which at any other time I would have found hilarious), but I just couldn't. Dimitri had woke me up early in the morning to kiss me goodbye before leaving. It was so sweet and I was glad he did. I just didn't like the fact he had to leave at all.

"Earth to Rose," Lissa snapped her fingers. I couldn't bring up the motivation to respond. "A Strigoi is attacking, the guardians want you, Adrian's outside your door naked and drunk" That last one got my brain to focus. I guess it automatically goes on alert every time it hears "drunk", naked" and "Adrian" in the same sentence. I don't even like to think about him clothed and drunk.

"Sorry. I'm having a hard time focusing right now." Her face became sympathetic. That was one of the things Lissa was really good at. She could make you feel comfortable to spill your heart even without compulsion. "Have you ever known something was wrong and wished for it to happen anyways?"

"Dimitri." It was a statement, not a question

"Yeah he came over and it was great." Despite my glum mood I found myself grinning. Lissa elbowed me with a knowing smile on her face. "But then he had to leave. It was practically still night when I saw him go. Why can't he stay for just once?"

"Because he can't" It was a simple answer. Behind her three words, though, were a million others. Because he's seven years older then you and you're seventeen. Because he's your mentor. Because you're both guardians and the motto's they come first. But she didn't say any of that and I was glad.

"I'm just so over whelmed with everything. Every little thing sets me off now a days and the darkness is only making things worse. Being with him makes me feel better, free in a way. Now that seeing him is such a risk I can't even have that liberty. No matter how hard I try it's impossible to get that nagging voice out of the back of my mind saying this isn't right, we'll both get in trouble. I feel like I'm going crazy. Like- like I'm becoming Anna." Before now I didn't realize just how scared I was that I was becoming her. I haven't really had anyone to talk to lately. Lissa was always busy with Christian, when I was with Dimitri it was more about passion and lust than anything else, and frankly I found my counselor less useful then a box of rocks when it came to expressing myself. Being able to let go of everything inside of me felt wonderful. And even though saying them put a sad heaviness into the air, it made me a little less sure I was going to be Anna.

"Oh Rose!" Lissa exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. I had missed her hugs. They were comforting and I finally felt like we were more than bond mates, we were sisters. Before I knew it I was sobbing. All the pain in my life came forward. I felt the hurt of not feeling like I had a mother and the ripping sensation in my heart of Mason dying. Then I started to feel Lissa's pain for me until she closed off her mind to me. I was so grateful that I started to talk through my tears.

"I've resented you and the ability you have to do a lot. You're able to go to parties and have fun and be with Christian. I know it's selfish of me and I'm really sorry, but I can't help it. I'm selfish."

"No," she said, "You're anything but."

I walked out of my room a different person. My worries and fears had quieted down a little and I felt not happier, but lighter. The weight on my shoulders was still crushing, but not as much. It was a welcomed break. Dimitri met us at the end of the hall way and I could see the want in his eyes.

"They know," I whispered despite the fact there was no one else in the hallways. Never can be too careful right? His faced showed shock until his guardian mask quickly took over. He shook his head as if to say still risky. Then slowly he turned to walk down the hall and started briefing me about today.

"You'll have to show perfect guarding strategy while they eat breakfast and walk to the plane. Other guardians will be present; however you will pretend that you are the only one." All work no play.

"Come on Comrade! I don't even get a donut? No? How about a donut hole?" I wanted, needed, to see even the slightest grin, nothing showed. Not even a sparkle in his eye. Last night had been amazing, but I was starting to wonder if maybe he was losing his feelings. I mean I could barely be around him without losing my control and it came so easy to him. Not something to dwell on right now though. The field experience was about to start and I needed to do well.

Most of the test was extremely boring. Lissa and Christian sat there talking and eating while I stood in the corner next to the exit nearest them. They ate so slowly that I tried desperately to make the bond work both ways. I might have given myself a brain aneurism trying. I couldn't even look into Lissa's mind because Dimitri had told her the close the bond. By the time the bill was paid I was seriously considering breaking protocol and go up to Lissa to tell her to sprint to the plane. With a great show of control I resisted the urge. Still, I couldn't help thinking this was soon going to be my life. Boring meetings and sit downs. Always having to be on the outside, watching my friends life live. It wasn't a depressing thought though, it was simply true. I've seen guardians my whole life and wanted to be like them. I wanted to beat the crap out of evil and protect good. Now I realize it's so much more. It's about being patient and knowing that the one moment you think things are fine something might go wrong.

Nothing exciting happened until we were almost to the plane. I have to admit, I let my guard down. We were leaving during the Moroi night (the humans' day) so not to risk real Strigoi. Because of this I was only one hundred percent alert inside and at shadowy places, the only spots there could be any attacks. So I was surprised when someone jumped out from the opposite side of the plane. My first reaction was to protect from the Strigoi. But a part of me realized that if the guardians wanted to act like the test was taking place at night they would've just scheduled it then. This was something else. Whoever was in front of me was pretending to be a Moroi. This would happen a lot when Lissa became part of the council. Extremists who wanted to be rid of the Dragomir line would try to kill her. Suddenly the challenge became a lot harder. A Strigoi I could just kill, an assassin I would have to keep alive so we could question them later.

I turned slightly so I could see both the threat and the two people I was protecting. When facing a Strigoi this would be a fatal action. But since I had a speed and most likely experience advantage on the Moroi I could risk it. The person I battled fought exactly like I expected a Moroi to. They played very dirty, focusing on harshness instead of calculated attacks. After some struggle I pinned the person and soon realized my mistake. Moroi had magic and this one specialized in fire. I could feel their hands burning my chest. Quickly I flipped them over so they were now using their magic against the concrete. I grabbed their neck as if I was going to knock them unconscious. I had won.

I got up and was shocked to see the person I had just defeated. Tasha. Most of me was amazed at how well she had fought. A small part of me (okay a very big part) was glad that I had kicked her ass. I still hadn't entirely forgiven her for trying to take Dimitri.

Later I was sitting next to Dimitri on the flight home. Ryan, the only other guardian, was in the cockpit so Dimitri grabbed my hands and started playing with my fingers. Public affection like that wasn't like him, not that I was complaining.

"I'm very impressed," he said. "A lot of the guardians assumed you wouldn't realize who the threat was. You did though and acted exactly how you should of. Especially turning your body to keep an eye on Lissa and Christian. Most experienced guardians wouldn't have thought to do that." I felt warm and fuzzy inside and only the strong curiosity I had allowed me to form sentences.

"I didn't know Tasha could fight that well."

"Neither did I," he replied. "We were just going to have a guardian act like an assassin, but she volunteered."

"It's kind of scary isn't it?" I looked up and saw a confused expression on his face. "I don't mean Tasha. I think it's awesome she can fight like that. I trust her, sort of, but that's not the point. What if other people learn to fight like that, people who wouldn't care about killing to get what they want?" He simply put my hand to his lips as I response. But I knew he was thinking exactly what I was. What if Strigoi became the lesser enemy? My gloomy thoughts were interrupted by Lissa finally putting down the shields in her head. The first thought that came through was you two are so cute together. I laughed and Lissa smiled at me leaving Dimitri and Christian to think we were absolutely insane.

It was Moroi day when arrived at the Academy, but we were allowed to skip school and rest. I was glad because classes, especially Stan's, would be unbearable since I was so exhausted. As soon as I got back to my room, though, I couldn't sleep. My chest hurt from where Tasha had burned me. I hadn't told anyone about my injuries. They hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time. Now they hurt like hell, but I couldn't muster up the energy to get them treated. Besides I didn't want to take another trip to the infirmary. I had a personal record for most time away going.

I decided to look through the books on wolves I had gotten when Lissa and I were first brought back to the Academy. The very idea of the pack mentality and dominance intrigued me. It didn't matter what pack you were born in or what your lineage was. If you were strong enough to beat the Alpha you were dominant. Sometimes I wish that the Moroi world was more like that. It seemed fair that there were no royal families, just strong and weak. But then I think of people who, like Tasha, fight dirty. If our government was based completely on power and not on names or rules anyone could be on top. If you had a strong fist and mind you could be the Alpha. Victor Dashkov could be ruling if the system was like that. Then again so could Mia or Lissa. Or me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! First of all did you guys see the new set photos and teaser trailer for Vampire Academy Blood Sisters? Both were awesome. I was literally freaking out! Can't wait for the movie! Also thanks for the great reviews, please keep them coming. This chapter didn't come as easy to me as the first three so i hope you like it!**

Chapter 4

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I heard knocking on the door. Looking over at my alarm I saw that I had slept through dinner and most of the morning. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Suddenly the knocking stopped. I was hopeful whoever was outside had gone away. The burns killed and I did not want to move. All of a sudden my door slammed open and Dimitri came walking him. Damn, he did not look happy.

"Rose why you are in bed? You've missed your first three classes! Explain yourself." His tone was harsh and angry. His eyes were cruel and his guardian mask was up. I'm pretty good at putting up a brave face. However, between the painful burns, his mean demeanor, and the fact that I was beginning to doubt his feelings, I started to lose it. Tears began to leak out of my eyes and in an instant Dimitri's expression changed. His eyes softened, his face showed compassion and worry. He moved from his spot near the door, now closed, and sat right next to me on the bed. "Please tell me what's wrong." I hesitated a little before answering. I didn't like showing my feelings.

"Do you love me?" I asked. I sounded so quiet, so weak. Mentally I was already bracing myself for him to say no. Instead he just looked at me with a shock. It took him a while to find words. Finally he said,

"Of course Roza! I don't know what I did to make you question that. Just know I'm so sorry for whatever happened." He was so sincere, though the nagging feeling wouldn't go away.

"You've been so distant. You do these sweet little things and the next moment you're acting like you barely know me. I used to be so sure of us and now I just don't know!" I cried out. I couldn't understand how my mood could've escalated so quickly. Sure I was feeling a little down yesterday, but now I was almost in hysterics.

"I don't want you to get hurt!" he said. By now my emotions were going crazy and I couldn't get a grip on his words. Every part of me was screaming he doesn't love you. "People think we are together, I can't give them any reason to assume they are right." I put my hands over my eyes. The light in my room was becoming blinding. I was terrified about what was happening inside me, it felt like my whole body was filled with darkness. That's it. I was feeling spirit's side effects. Before, with Jessie, it had been red hot rage. Now it was despair, so deep, so horrible. I could imagine I was Anna, we seemed so alike. History repeats itself, doesn't it? No, I had to fight it, just like in the cabin.

"Dimitri-" I managed to choke out, "darkness." Understanding flashed into his eyes and he pulled me close. No one said a word, but I could feel the dark slipping away. As fast as it came it was gone. "That was the scariest thing," I muttered.

"What did you feel?"' he asked, pulling me even closer.

"Complete and utter anguish. It was of out control, I was so convinced you didn't love me. I thought I was going to be like Anna. The despair was so intense. I- I wanted to take my life" I hated to say that out loud, hated the look that came onto his face. I couldn't hold it in though. The longing and desire to end the wild emotions had been so intense. I finally understand why Lissa had cut. If this is what she had felt every day, I admired her for being so strong most of the time. It seemed like Dimitri could not speak. He just continued to hold me. "There's more," I said pulling of my tank top. He gasped and gently ran his finger along the edge of my bra. Despite the immense pain because of the burns, which had gotten worse since yesterday, I couldn't help an involuntary shiver. If only he knew the things he did to me.

"Did Tasha do this?" I nodded as way of answer and leaned into him. I was so strained and could still feel darkness all around. His strength was the only thing that was going to get me through this. "We need to take you to the infirmary. Can you put your shirt back on?" I nodded again, but winced in pain as the fabric hit the wound. I knew enough about injuries to guess it was infected. Stupid me and my pride had made things worse. Dimitri slowly helped me up and guided me towards the door.

"One more thing," I muttered and pressed my lips to his.

The burns were indeed infected. Dr. Olendzki gave me painkillers and a huge lecture about not coming to her sooner. Dimitri hadn't even looked at me since we had arrived. Even though I now knew he loved me it still had me thinking. I had basically ignored him when he was here, not counting the time right after he woke up. My reasoning was that I didn't want anyone to realize I cared a little more about Dimitri then someone who was just his student would. Besides I was terrified about Kirova's suspicions. I couldn't help wondering if he didn't see it that way. Maybe he thought I was getting over him. I couldn't help feeling that he'd been lonely and I know from experience that loneliness causes doubts. Did he ever think I didn't love him?

My questions were interrupted by Alberta and Dimitri walking through the curtain. Of course he would appear while I was thinking about him. Then again when wasn't I thinking about Dimitri?

"Rose how are you feeling?" Alberta asked. I didn't understand why she was here. It wasn't like the burns were a result of anything that happened at the school.

"Okay. One thing is really bothering me though," I said while pausing for dramatic effect. "How many times do I have to end up in here before I get my own room?" They both laughed quickly before becoming serious once more.

"Rose," Dimitri said speaking for the first time. "Did any part of Tasha's attack seem malicious or overly violent? Did it ever seem like she was really trying to kill you?" Concern for me was evident in his eyes. How could I ever think he didn't love me? Blame it on the darkness I guess.

"No," I answered confused. What did Tasha have to do with this? I was the stubborn one who made the burns worse by not getting treatment.

"The thing is," Alberta began, "She was told to just make it feel like there was fire heating the space between you two. You weren't supposed to be burned at all. I have to go talk to Kirova about this." With that she left leaving Dimitri and I alone.

"Do you really think she did this on purpose? I mean maybe she just lost control of her magic," I said. I really didn't want to believe it was true. What would happen to Christian? He's already been through enough with his parents.

"Trust me, I don't want her to be guilty either, but it's like you said. Moroi are learning to fight and some of them won't care who they knock down along the way. There's a possibility Tasha's one of those Moroi." I knew it pained him to say those words. Tasha and he have been close friends for a while. But that friendship didn't mean a thing to him if she had meant to hurt me. He was choosing me over her. A Damphir over a Moroi. They come first didn't apply all the time now. Things were changing; the vampire world was rewriting itself. For better or for worse though?

"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have broken down" I really did feel bad. Now that I wasn't consumed by darkness, I realize how much panic I had caused him.

"I'm not sure it was such a bad thing. Seeing you with that look on your face was horrible, but you wouldn't have told me any of that had the darkness not taken over." He came over and planted a quick kiss on my forehead. "We have to talk about earlier, especially what you said about Anna. And me." I saw sadness in his eyes. Not only had I worried him with my actions, but I had hurt him with my words. Great girl I was.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you," I said hoping how much I loved him shone through my eyes.

"I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason to," he answered, brushing a hand through my hair before walking away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Review and tell me what you think.:) **

Chapter 5

I was excused the next day after dinner, though the burns still hurt like hell. Lissa followed me around like a lost puppy wanting to heal me. I wouldn't let her.

"Come on Rose," she said. "I can handle the darkness." For you, she added through the bond. Lissa was trying to be strong, but that only brought out my weakness. I cannot let people suffer if I can help.

"I know you can Lis, but I can't let you. Yesterday I felt the deep depression you did. I never want you or me for that matter to feel that again. This injury isn't life threatening so for the last damn time no." I could still feel some of the left over darkness in me. Sooner or later we would need a better solution. Lissa couldn't keep from using magic forever, especially with my talent of almost getting myself killed on a regularly basis.

"You're just being stubborn. Wait," she paused. "You felt depression, I thought you got angry." She sounded so concerned. Through the bond I could feel that she thought she was ruining my life. I immediately felt bad. Lissa sensing that I was about to tell her this wasn't her fault started to speak. "I mean this and the whole problem with Dimitri and you not being able to guard each other and me at the same time."

"How did you know about that?" I asked surprised. By this time we had reached my room. Lissa looked around disapprovingly at the mess before continuing.

"I'm a Moroi not stupid." I laughed and we both sat down on my bed. "Wait," she bolted up. "Nothing happened here right?" She raised her eyebrows (like me only raising one was impossible for her) and I couldn't help bursting out laughing.

"No but-" I said taking my time answering to torture Lissa. "It did in the cabin. You know the one we went to with Tasha and Christian?" She started jumping around and I let her. I haven't seen Lissa carefree in a long time. She was trying to take the weight of the world on her shoulders. I had to make sure that was my job, not hers. Finally she calmed down long enough to say,

"Wait isn't that illegal?" I dramatically put my finger to my lips which caused us to laugh again. I had missed this just hanging out with Lissa. I realized we hadn't done this in awhile and it felt good. "Hey, continuing this conversation, what is Dimitri like. All I see is the strong guardian side of him." I paused while considering her question. What was Dimitri like?

"He's a very caring person and that's putting it lightly. He puts everyone else above himself. Especially you. You may not know this, but he cares a lot about you and your safety." I could see her eyes shine at that. I think there's a major misconception around the vampire world. Moroi assume that guardians only go through the motions. That we don't really care about our assignments. For a small amount of Damphirs that's true. But a lot of guardians do care.

"I'm glad to know that," Lissa grinned. I could tell it meant a lot to her. One of Lissa's fears about graduating is she'll be stuck with a bunch of guardians, since she's the last Dragomir, who don't really care about her as person. "What about your relationship? How does he act?" I was dreading answering the question considering we hadn't had much of a relationship lately.

"He's so sweet and makes me feel like the most amazing person in the world," I smiled. "He cares a lot about honor. It's a good thing. I mean it makes me convinced that he does take this seriously and would never purposely hurt me. But sometimes he takes it to an extreme, you know? Like his honor keeps him from completely opening up." Lissa was such a good listener. She let me get my feelings out without judging, right away anyways. I knew when I was done talking she'd say exactly how she felt. "The cabin was wonderful and he says he doesn't' regret it. Though sometimes I wonder if because of that night he thinks about honor a lot more now." I could tell that she really did care about my worries. That or she was so interested about Dimitri without the guardian mask that it didn't matter what I said.

"What about the night at the courts. Didn't you guys, you know?"

"No," I answered. "We kissed and cuddled, but that's about it."

"You should talk to him about it."

"I know, but I can understand his point. How do I argue with the fact that it's illegal and he's technically my mentor?"

"You simply tell him you love him," she replied. "At least that's what I say to Christian."

"Please, you two don't need any help in that department. You guys have sex more than most rabbits." Lissa laughed and through a pillow at my head, which I easily dodged, before walking about. Sure she couldn't break curfew to sit with her best, but could for her boyfriend.

"Oh no," I groaned to no one. She was probably going to the church to meet him. I was getting better at controlling the bond, but still. It was going to be a long night.

In the morning I was called down to the Guardian's lounge. I knew it had to be about Tasha, but I didn't get why we weren't discussing it in Kirova's office. Dimitri was the only one in when I walked in. Believe it or not I was actually a little early. I went to go sit on his lap, but he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me to the chair next to him. Literally a second after that Alberta walked in.

"Early as always," I muttered, showing Dimitri I got the point. "Why aren't we in the head office?"

"Straight to it I see," answered Alberta. "Headmistress Kirova is busy with one of the Queen's representatives." I'd rather face one of them then the Queen herself. Every time I see her I feel like it'll be the day I piss her off enough to get myself sent to prison.

"Is she going to be replaced?"

"I don't know and let me guess you were the one who told her it was a horrible idea," Alberta assumed. She knew me to well.

"Yeah I may have angered the Queen," I said. It's not really a big deal. I can't remember a time when I didn't. "But I know we're here about Tasha. Did you find out anything?" I saw Dimitri's eyes sadden.

"She wasn't at her house. Her coworkers said she quit suddenly. She ran away. We have no choice but to presume she's guiltily." I could see how much he wanted this to have just been a slip up. A simple misuse of magic. But it wasn't.

"What we don't understand is why she hurt you," Alberta mused. I knew. She somehow knew about Dimitri and me and was jealous. I certainly couldn't tell Alberta that though.

"Who knows," I replied trying to make it sound unimportant. "But she's gone now. Oh and can you guys let me tell Christian?" I felt horrible that this was brought upon him and needed to be the one to explain. Alberta nodded and dismissed me. Dimitri followed me out.

"There's so much more we needed to talk about in there. You got hurt, but it can't just be about you. There has to be more," Dimitri voiced.

"I know! I have this crazy feeling that what I said on the plane was right and that Tasha's part of it. There's something big here that could affect everything." Here we were again with the changes. The more the Moroi cling to the traditional ways the more they slip away. I was glad things were revolutionizing, but a sinking feeling told me that Tasha was going to go about it the wrong way.

"Then why didn't you say that?" He asked. By now we had stopped and were looking straight into each other's eyes.

"Because I didn't have to."


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter. Just a happy little filler chapter, well mostly.;) Read to find out what I mean. Oh and I haven't done this in a couple chapters, but I own nothing. Enjoy and please review. **

Chapter 6

Days passed and nothing new came up about Tasha. One day Dimitri followed me out into the hall and asked,

"What do you want for your birthday?" I could've made it easy for him and said lip gloss or something. I didn't.

"You know what I want," I said, grabbing a hold of his hand for a slight second. Immediately I regretted my words. His face was full of regret and sadness. An insecure piece of me had thought he hadn't missed "us" as much as I had. Now I knew that wasn't the truth.

"I can't give you that," he sighed. Despite the fact we were in public I leaned into him.

"I just miss you so much. We never talk anymore. Trainings were cancelled so the only time I get to see you is with Alberta. I miss your laugh and you holding me and everything." I found it interesting that I hadn't mentioned kissing or sex. I guess when you miss someone so much words become just as important as lust.

"I know Roza, trust me I know." His nickname for me sent thrills through my body, but still he pulled away. I watched him as he walked down the hall and wondered if we would make it till graduation.

Today was the day. I was eighteen. Some part of me thought it would be a revelation, like I would suddenly figure out everything and become an adult. No such luck. My life was just as confusing and messed up as before. Still it was my birthday and I was hell bent on enjoying it.

Lissa had blocked me from the bond. I thought it was to keep her gift a surprise, but when she gave me a dress and still didn't let me see her mind, I became suspicious.

"Lis I swear if you're planning something." She just smiled her most angelic smile and elbowed Christian. He brought out a plate of donuts that had _Happy Birthday Rosie _written with frosting. "You made these?" I asked, ignoring the name Rosie.

"Yep. Happy birthday," he said actually sounding sincere. I mumbled thank you through the chocolate donut I had just shoved into my mouth.

"Happy eighteenth," Eddie said from behind me, clipping something around my neck. I looked down saw it was a locket. I opened it and saw a picture of Eddie, Mason, and I. "He'd be happy for you." I nodded, small tears in my eyes. I hadn't seen Mason's ghost in a while. Maybe his time was up; I just hope he's in a better place.

"Thank you," I said standing up and hugging Eddie. I hugged Lissa and Christian and went to Stan's class. Maybe his present to me would not being such an ass.

Lissa showed up at my door an hour before dinner. She had a bag of makeup and hair products in her hand and a smirk on her face.

"Oh Lissa you didn't," I groaned.

"Yeah I did," she replied happily. "Party time!" I used to love parties and truth is I didn't hate the idea of going to this one. It just sucked that I couldn't dance with Mason or kiss Dimitri during the slow songs. My mother probably won't even show up. "Now let's get ready."

An hour and a half later (I guess we're missing dinner, good thing I ate all of Christian's donuts) we were ready. Lissa looked regal in an emerald gown sparking with crystals. I was wearing the dress she had gotten me. It was red with black lace lining and hugged every curve before flaring out slightly just before the knee. My hair hung in loose curls down my back.

"You'll make every guys jaw dropped," she complimented.

"There's only one I want to impress." Lissa smiled and as if on cue Dimitri walked through the door. Before I knew what was happening he pulled me into his arms. We hadn't hugged in so long and it made me feel whole again. I mouthed thank you to Lissa as she slipped out the door. Dimitri pulled away and handed me a box.

"Wow," I said opening it. It was a beautiful ring that had vines craved into the metal and a ruby red rose on top. "It's gorgeous."

"It's a promise," he said, eyes shining. "I know things have been rough between us. I've barely been able to see you and I miss your touch so much. It's so hard to do my job and keep our secret. I can't risk sneaking time alone with you a lot. But graduation is coming up and as soon as you get that tattoo on your neck, you're mine. Forever. I promise." With that he leaned down and kissed me. Everything felt so right I didn't want the moment to end. All too soon though, it did.

"Thank you," I whispered tears in my eyes. "Are- are you going to be there tonight?"

"Yes and no. I'm on duty." It made me sad, but at least he would be in the room. I could steal a few glances his way every once in a while. Dimitri made his way to the door. "By the way, you're more than impressive. You're breathtaking."

The party was in the school gym and was amazing. All of my friends and I had a great time dancing. As predicted Janine Hathaway was nowhere to be found, but I refused to let that bother me.

"How did you pull this off?" I asked Lissa

"I begged," she replied and added _with a little compulsion _through the bond. I looked at her disapprovingly, but let it slide. After all I was having fun, something that was rare to come by in my life. I was dancing with Eddie when a certain Russian appeared at my side. I guess he managed to get a break. Or maybe he just broke protocol.

"Do you mind if I cut in for a mentor-student dance?" He asked Eddie who nodded. Dimitri and I moved together with ease. It felt so natural there, dancing with him. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes especially now that you're with me," I answered looking around to see if anyone had heard me.

"Dangerous words," he replied, but had amusement in his eyes. Amusement and love.

"I don't know if you've heard, but I live for danger." That earned me a full out smile. "Did they give you moment to come over here? He was about to answer when the door opened. A familiar, but not welcomed face stepped through. Tasha.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you guys for the great reviews. Keep them coming:) As usual I don't own any part of the series, it's all Richelle Mead. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Seven

"She couldn't have waited until the song was over?" I whispered to Dimitri. Seriously it's bad enough you have to interrupt a birthday party without messing up a slow dance too.

"Hey Dimitri," Tasha called, "I've learned some things since last time I saw you. Care to hear them?" Her eyes were dangerous, her words smug. This was not sweet Aunt Tasha who I hated. This was crazy, potentially violent Tasha who I hated. At least some things never change. "You too Rose. I know some things that your friends would love to hear. It's all about gossip in high school, isn't it?" Oh shit. Oh shit. She knew about Dimitri's and I relationship. The best idea would probably be to go easy on her and give her a reason not to spill our secret. Unfortunately I am not known for taking it easy.

"You burned me. You ran away when we tried to talk to you. Now you come in here threatening to tell everyone things you supposedly know about Dimitri and I. Pretty brave considering I kicked your ass." I'm pretty sure I heard someone in the audience yell "BURN" which I found hilarious until fire appeared in Tasha's hands. I bet I could fight her even with her magic, but I was worried about everyone else. Especially Lissa.

"I let you," she sneered, anger bubbling to the surface. "Couldn't make it too obvious that I've been learning to fight with a bunch of other pissed off Moroi and underappreciated Damphirs." I know, I know, it isn't a good idea to taunt someone who could torch someone alive if she wanted to (and I wasn't entirely sure she didn't). The thing is if she's anything like Christian, which I'm sure she is, she'll spill if she gets mad. She's already admitted to training with others. I could probably get more information out of her before she started attacking. Okay change probably too hopefully.

"If you wanted to be subtle you could try not acting like a common criminal," I shot back. The problem in playing with fire is eventually you'll get burned. I assumed she'd hurt me or one of my closer friends; at least that's what I would do. I had to trust that Dimitri and Eddie could take care of themselves. They were great guardians (or about to be in Eddie's case). Christian was also very capable, for him it would be like fighting fire with fire. The person in the most danger was Lissa.

"We'll see how common you think I am when my group is done with your Queen." Yes! I got her to confess. I was done playing now. Every minute Tasha grew a little more like a wild animal. This had to end. I shifted my posture ever so slightly so I could go on attack easier. Both Eddie and Dimitri noticed my change. Eddie went to stand between the majority of the bystanders and Tasha. Dimitri went straight to Lissa. I hoped that he was getting Lissa out of there and focused my eyes on Tasha. This wasn't a field experience anymore. This was life and death. Maybe the school will give me the rest of the year of until trials if I beat her.

"No," I calmly said, "You won't see. You'll be behind bars. You won't be part of the group anymore. They'll cast you away and complete the mission alone. Not that they'll get very far." With that she lost control and flew at me.

My first impression of Tasha was she was a really nice person. Even when I was completely jealous about Dimitri I still thought she was nice. Now I know it was all an act. She's really just vicious. Fighting Tasha was like battling a creature that had just been let out of her cage. Her moves were jerky and unstable. She was brawling with her emotions at large. I could have easily had the upper hand except for her damn magic. Every time I got an open hit she would throw a fireball and I'd be forced to move back. I couldn't help thinking about the move I saw her practice with Christian. The one where she shot a powerful surge of fire at her enemy.

The struggle was even until Christian joined in. I fought her physically while he combated her magic. We were a great team. It reminded me of the attack on the school, when we fought Strigoi together. Except for one thing. He couldn't just set his aunt on fire, no matter how dangerous she was. She was still family and that was making him hold back.

Dimitri once told me how sometimes it's hard to kill Strigoi because they could be someone you knew, someone who was turned evil, soulless. What made hurting them easier was the fact that their mortal morals and beliefs were taken away the moment they became undead. The problem was Tasha wasn't undead. She was alive as me. Yes she was at major threat, but she was still alive. That made the fight so much harder. Feelings stopped both Christian and I from doing what was needed. From doing what we would have done had she been Strigoi.

That's when I realized that Strigoi weren't the biggest threat any more. Sure they were fast, strong, and deadly. But they were outsiders. They couldn't walk with us or pretend to be one of us. Moroi could. They could manipulate the emotions of a loved one. If you had to fight a Moroi you couldn't justify it by saying they would want me to take the evil from their souls. Moroi were completely in control of their actions. They were doing what they wanted.

I know that if Lissa decided to turn on me it would be so hard to fight her. I couldn't imagine hurting her at all. If she had been turned Strigoi it would be different. But just she, as a Moroi, would make it almost impossible for me to kill her. Rebel Moroi and Damphirs were now our biggest enemy. They fought not only our bodies, but our hearts.

This new knowledge made the fight seem hopeless. Glancing over at Christian I saw tears in his eyes. I'm sure there were some in mine too. Suddenly Tasha stumbled and fell to the ground. My thoughts had distracted me from the battle. I didn't see that she had used too much magic. She had lost simply because we out lasted her. I felt like I had cheated my way to a victory. What if she had been able to use power without being drained? Dimitri reappeared at my side distracting me.

"I had to get Lissa away so I only watched the end of the fight," he said, "but you were great." I nodded and looked around. The crowd had disappeared from my mind, but now that my adrenaline was calming down I realized most of it had disappeared. Dimitri noticed me glancing around. "Tasha looked criminally insane. We didn't put it past her to take a hostage."

"I know you guys were busy," Christian wheezed, tired out from magic like his aunt. "But you couldn't have spared anyone to come and help us?"

"It was our fight and our fight alone," I said to him. He rolled his eyes, though I was sure he knew that too, and walked away muttering something about finding Lissa. I turned back to Dimitri.

"Did you spend the whole time with Lissa?" He nodded.

"She followed me out of her room seven times before giving up." Of course she did. "Rose please talk to her. She can't be doing that. Just imagine if Tasha had brought back up."

"I know Comrade," I said smiling when he shook his head at my nickname for him. "And don't act like you don't love me calling you that." He pushed a stray piece of hair from my face.

"I'm just impressed that the dress looks as good as it did before you fought," he said before brushing a hand across my back and walking away. I couldn't help notice he avoided saying anything about my nickname for him.

I stayed a little longer to see what was going to happen to Tasha. Apparently she was going to be kept in the Academy cells before being transferred to court. Yep that's right. My school has a jail. How bad ass is that? I was assured that I would continue to be informed and with that I walked back to my room. It was tempting to go to Lissa's room and yell at her for giving Dimitri a hard time, but I was pretty sure her and Sparky were doing things I most defiantly didn't want to see. As I was rounding the corner to the dorms I ran into someone.

"Mom," I practically shirked in surprise.

"Happy Birthday Rosemarie." She sounded like she meant it, but I still wasn't happy. I mean she had almost missed my birthday all together

"Do you really think you can just come waltzing in? Do you know what just happened? I just had to fight good ol' Tasha. At my party!" The lack of surprise told me she did in fact know about it. "Where were you anyway?"

"Getting details for a funeral."

"Do you really think I- wait a funeral?" I asked not entirely believing what I had heard. She nodded. For the first time I noticed she look solemn

"My charge is dead"


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter. I once again want to thank everyone who's reading/following/reviewing this story. It means so much to me that you guys enjoy what i write. As usual i own nothing.:) **

Chapter 8

I've never seen my mom so defeated. She had decided to stay at the school until I graduated. Personally I didn't think that was a good thing for her to do, but hey I'm not going to tell Janine Hathaway no. She just looked so sad all the time. I remember how upset Dimitri still looked when we talked about his dead charge, even after all this time. It must be ten times worse for my mom. She was there when it happened.

They had just come out of a dinner meeting. The meeting had been about sending Damphirs out when they were just sixteen (complete bullshit by the way). My mom was riled up and outraged about the royals even considering the idea. Her charge was one of the few we decided against it. I guess my mom let the emotions over take her guardian side. She didn't notice when they stepped out of the sun and into a shady area. Her partner was far guard, she was near. It took the Strigoi two seconds to reach out and grab the royal's neck. It scared me that it could've easily been my mother. Any ways she killed both Strigoi, turns out there were two of them. She's been trying to be strong, but I know it's killing her.

She's putting it aside though, for me. Today's my qualifier. If I pass it, I graduate and become a guardian. If I don't I'm screwed. Technically I get to file papers for the rest of my life, but that counts as being screwed, doesn't it?

I was so nervous I was going to mess everything up. I mean I've done pretty good so far, killed not one, but two Strigoi. That's impressive for even older guardians. All it takes though is one failure, one moment of being unfocused, and everything you've worked for is gone. My mom knew that better than anyone right now.

I've been jittery all morning and my mom's been there for me the whole time. It's funny, no not funny; it's cruel how death brings people closer. Death and the qualifier. Who says violence isn't the answer? It's worked for my mom's and my relationship.

"Rose! Rose!" Lissa came running from behind. My mom just barely moved out of the way before she came barreling into me and pulling me into a hug. "I just wanted to wish you well good luck!" She gave me another hug. Through the bond I could see she was nervous for me. That makes two of us. I thanked her and watched her bound away to find Christian and Adrian. Who would've thought? Vasilisa Dragomir, the perfect example of a perfect royal practically skipping at the thought of finding her boyfriend and sitting down to watch me beat the crap out of people. I wonder what she would be like be at a hockey game.

My mom was amused too, but the smile disappeared off her face once we entered the qualifier tent. Only guardians and novices were allowed into here. Things were finally real. This was what my whole life had been leading up to. The final test before I became a full- fledged guardian. Trust me I was dead serious, but I couldn't help the grin that appeared on my face and the way my heart skipped when I saw Dimitri waiting for me. My mom grabbed me and said,

"I got to go suit up," she was one of the fake Strigoi, "but remember focus. This is nothing compared to what you've been through. Believe that. Believe me." Then she surprised me and hugged me before walking away. I turned to Dimitri.

"Hey Comrade," I said with full Rose bravado. He wasn't impressed.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, nervous?" Dimitri chuckled. What the hell was it, opposite day? Lissa wasn't acting royal, Janine Hathaway was giving hugs, and Mr. Stoic was chuckling. Next thing you know Christian's going to be making cookies and Adrian will be sober. Eh, probably not, but I wouldn't mind a cookie right now.

"You bet," I replied deciding it wasn't worth it to lie to him. Just like I knew Dimitri like the back of my hand, he could read me like a book. Most of the time I loved our connection. However sometimes a girls got to lie. Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll do fine. You're fast, strong, talented, smart, brave, and- and you'll do fine." His eyes expressed what he didn't say. He loved me and thought I was beautiful. He had complete and utter faith in me that I could beat this and then we could be together.

The rest of the tent saw a friendly mentor- student hug. I saw the man I loved most in the world giving me the confidence I needed. He pulled back and said, "You'll do everyone one out their proud."

"I'll do you proud," I whispered. Then my name was called and I walked out to the only thing standing between me and my future. I thought I heard Dimitri mutter "Good luck Roza," under his breath as I walked out into the arena.

The first text was fairly simple. Me against five "Strigoi". I got past them with only a small scratch on my hand. Piece of cake. The next test was harder. I got put in a maze and had to make it to the center. The catch? There were guardians at every turn waiting to take me down. Still I got through it with minimal trouble. I couldn't believe I had been so nervous

The last challenge was harder for one simple reason. I had to get two Moroi across a wooden obstacle course filled to the brim with Strigoi. Some small voice in the back of mind head thought that there should only be one Moroi. I ignored it. You got to take the cards you're given right? I would've made it through the course, along with my Moroi, relatively cleanly except for the fact I tripped. Bad ass Hathaway tripped over a loose nail. Go figure. A guardian grabbed me by the foot. Thankfully the Moroi were already in the "sun", a spot that was deemed safe on the course. I looked up and saw that my attacker was Dimitri. Damn him! He didn't tell me he was going to out here.

I didn't have the time or energy to fight him for long. I had to end this. So I blindly pushed my leg and miraculously I hit his nose with his own hand. Rose: 1 Dimitri: 0. I quickly rolled into the safe spot and just like that my test was over. Suddenly I was grateful Dimitri had been the last barrier I had to face. It just meant he was the first person I saw when everything was done. And what I saw stunned me. A full out smile. Dimitri, my Dimitri, was smiling in front of everyone! He looked so proud and I wished so, so badly that we could sneak off and celebrate together. But sadly reality made that impossible. For once though, I wasn't all that bummed out about it because I had passed and I was going to graduate and then we would finally be able to love each other without hiding it from the world.

Nothing could ruin my good mood. Not even the other novices telling me they only had one Moroi and they just had to make it across an open floor. I would be talking to Dimitri about that. Adrian's drunk congratulations and Christian's snooty ones didn't annoy me at all. In fact they made me happier. Even Jessie saying that now he could brag he had seen the most accomplished novice ever without her shirt on pissed me off. I took it as a compliment. All I could say about him was he made out like a dog. A Golden Retriever to be more specific.

After a bunch of good jobs and congrats (the most amusing being Lissa who was jumping up and down so hard I swear she was going to kill herself) I went back to my room to prepare for the ceremony. Tonight I would officially graduate. So would Lissa and Christian and Eddie. We were finally going into the real world. It didn't seem as strange as I expected. I guess it's because I already know what the real world is like. I ran away with Lissa, she got kidnapped, I got kidnapped, I walked in on a massacre, I saw Mason die. Slowly but surely the real world has already been sneaking into my life even before I left the school. How many more surprises can there be? Damn I probably just cursed myself. Oh well.

I changed into a black skirt and a red blouse. Standing in front of the mirror I lifted my hair into a bun and tried to imagine another mark fitted between the three I already had. It's strange that ink on my neck could mean so much to me. There were so much more then tattoos, they were my life.

A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts. It was Lissa looking excited, ready to graduate. She, being as observant as she was, had given me the time after the qualifier to myself. I needed it. Not so much to say good bye to the old me, she had left a long time ago. I had wanted the alone time more to just get one more breath of silence before my life became crazy once again. I'm not saying I'm not looking forward to it, in fact I am. I just know that once it starts it never ever stops. Not that I want it to. I slipped on my shoes and linked arms with Lissa. We walked down the hall as two best friends, Damphir and Moroi, ready to become guardian and princess.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Damphir ceremony was dead silent. Sure, it was a happy moment. We were graduating, starting the rest of our lives. The thing is there's a huge chance that many of us wouldn't get to live the rest of our lives very long. The promise mark was a sense of honor; we were now trusted to keep someone alive. It was also a sort of sentence. We're either sentenced to a long life of killing Strigoi or a short life of being killed by them. That's why everyone was so quiet. Tonight's a joyful time, but it's hard to ignore a more painful future, especially when it's coming so fast. The only person I really paid attention to was Eddie. He smiled, but it was solemn. He touched his neck after the getting tattooed. Eddie had a locket just like me. There was no way either of us was going to leave Mason out of tonight.

The novice's trail scores were read out after they got the mark. Eddie's were pretty impressive. I knew I had done good, but an insecure part of me wondered if Eddie had done better. I thought about it as I walked up after hearing my name be called. My eyes were straight in front of me. I didn't want to risk them meeting Dimitri's. It would suck if I gave away our secret moments before it didn't have to be a secret anymore. I sat down and let the artist do his job. He sighed and I had to stifle a laugh. I bet it had to be a bitch working around the two existing Molnija marks.

After the process was over my neck was bandaged and my scores were read. Everyone sucked in their breath. They were impressive, really impressive. It's been a while since anyone's gotten scores that high. I was so proud of myself. I had overcome a hell of a lot to get to where I am and I finished with the best grade of the whole class. Of whole classes before me even. While at least my trial scores. My academic results weren't terrible, though not defiantly weren't top notch. I returned to my seat again ignoring Dimitri. The Moroi still had to graduate and then I could finally tell the world about the love of my life. Before Moroi names were called Alberta had an announcement.

"Things are going to be done a little different here," she said. "New guardians-" Everyone paused. It was incredible hearing myself be called an actual guardian. Just like that the thick silence disappeared. Everyone started screaming and jumping up and down. I went over and hugged Eddie. We had grieved for the seriousness of our new lives. Now we were going to celebrate the potential. "Yes, yes I know it's very exciting, but I have news. This year we are going to give out charges right here. You heard me, Moroi, it's time to find out who your guardians are." This shocked the crowd into silence again. This never happened. Charges were given out at court. Yet another example of this world changing. Alberta began to call up names like she hadn't just said breaking news. I refused to look over at Lissa. I was trying to compose myself, be ready for either situation.

All too soon Lissa's name was called. Of course, she was top off the class in academics. It's really a shame they don't do speeches here. I would love to hear what she had to say about our time here. The first words I would use to describe it would be crazy bullshit. She got her diploma and stood proudly in the middle of the stage, a perfect royal. Time slowed down as Alberta began,

"Your new guardians are Eddie Castile," I sucked in my breath, "and Rosemarie Hathaway." Yes! Yes! Yes! This was too good to be true. Eddie and I? Together? I tried to act proper like Eddie, but finally thought screw this. I had been through so much. They could deal with me sprinting to the stage and giving Lissa a huge hug. The whole audience laughed. We were ushered off stage and the roll call continued. Finally Christian's name came up. After his diploma he just started to walk off stage. I guess he, like everyone, assumed he wouldn't get a guardian. Especially not after Tasha.

"Where do you think you're going Oreza?" Alberta mused. Christian came back, confused. I'll admit it was sort of amusing to see Sparky flabbergasted in his shining moment. "Your new guardian," everyone noted that he was only getting one protector, "is Dimitri Belikov."It took everything I had to not fall out of my seat. This was perfect. We could be together when Lissa and Christian were together. With Eddie at my back, we could afford to worry about each other a tiny bit. Dimitri walked proudly up to his new charge. I still wouldn't look at him, not yet. Finally the last name was called. There were no caps and gowns in this school. Thank God, those things are hideous. Everyone was beaming; we had made it through high school. Just to be sure I couldn't get in trouble, I raised my hand and Alberta nodded to me.

"Guardian Hathaway?" It would take a while to get used to that.

"So we're really graduated right? Like we're no longer students at all?" I could see Dimitri out of the corner of my eye trying to hold back a smile.

"Yes you're graduated." With that I leaped out of my chair and flung myself into Dimitri's arms. The whole room stopped and stared at us. I didn't care. We couldn't be penalized. It was legal, it was right. We kissed and I felt like bursting with happiness. From behind me I heard a wolf whistle and out of nowhere the whole room exploded in cheers. I stared up into Dimitri's eyes. They reflected mine, full of happiness, full of hope. No one was running at us or ordering us to stop. We were being accepted. The vampire world was changing and right now it felt like Dimitri and I were at the center of the revolution. I didn't mind though. I've always loved being the center of attention.

A little while later Alberta approached us. I immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry I lied," I said. "You understand why I did though? I just couldn't tell the truth." She smiled.

"Of course I understand and I'm glad you lied. I'm not quite sure about your mother though. I think she's still standing in a corner in shock." I could feel Dimitri flinch behind me. Big bad Russian God was afraid of little Janine.

"I'm glad we have your support." I really was. Alberta has been a big part of my life. It was nice to know she approved.

"And I must say you are an amazing liar." She laughed before walking away. I've never heard her laugh before. I guess there's a first time for everything. I felt a tap on my back and turned around to Eddie pulling me into a hug.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"Does- I mean did he know?" There was no question to who he was.

"No Mason didn't know. And I made a mess of things with him because of my feelings toward Dimitri. He knew about Spokane because I rebelled against Dimitri. It was my worst mistake. Are you mad? I asked again. Dimitri had stayed silent, but decided it was time to speak.

"Guardian Castile I know how hard losing someone is. I also know how much Mr. Ashford meant to you. Just know that neither Rose nor I ever meant for him to get hurt. We just made a mistake."

"No, I'm not mad," Eddie replied before turning away. "But Dimitri? Can you not be so formal? It's kind of weird." I laughed and whispered "listen to the man" before kissing the man I love. In public. I don't think I'll ever take it for granted.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the next chapter. Again sorry it took so long to update. I'm trying to get used to the amount of work between school and basketball and writing this. I promise I'll get quicker with these updates. I own nothing. Thanks for all the great reviews and I hope you like this chapter as much as the other ones:)**

Chapter 10

Do you believe in luck? Because I sure do. I also believe I have the shittiest luck ever. I mean what girl goes to her room to change into a dress for the graduation party, but ends up in the guardian's headquarters because an alarm was sent from the court. That's right this girl. I also have two thumbs; I could be the center of a bad joke. Probably will be now.

"Do we know what happened?" I asked trying my very hardest not to complain about missing my party. Besides me, Eddie was the only newly graduated guardian there. It was honoring to know they trusted us right out of the gates.

"No there was only an alarm. It could just be a single Strigoi," Alberta briefed. I could tell she was nervous.

"But you don't think it is," Eddie said. It wasn't a question it was a statement. I had to agree with him.

"No," Alberta admitted. I knew what it was. It was freaking Tasha. She just couldn't let me be happy. Even behind bars she was making my life miserable. I couldn't go to my dance with Dimitri. She was taking away a stupid dance. I hate her so much. All of a sudden my vision was red. All I could think of was killing Tasha. Oh god here we go again. Darkness.

"Does anyone know if Lissa used spirit recently?" I questioned through clenched teeth.

"Yeah," Emile, one of the school guardians said, "She healed everyone after the trials." Great just great. I wish she would've told me so I could get a grip on myself before the darkness took over. No don't think those things, it's not you. But right now it was starting to be me.

"Dimitri it's happening again." I was now clenching the sofa. I expected him to come over to me and hold me or something. Instead he just stayed there looking at me like I knew the answer. I swear if he tries to teach me one of those idiotic Zen lessons. I put my head between my knees and started tapping my feet. What did Dimitri think he was doing? I didn't want to physically or mentally hurt him. He knew what spirit could make me do, why was he acting like this? I became even angrier if that was even possible. I wanted to hurt Dimitri, make him suffer for just watching me through my suffering. I wanted to make his life hell. Wait no I didn't. I loved him. Just like that the anger disappeared. I had fought it. By myself. "I see what you did there," I smiled nodding to Dimitri.

"Incredible," Alberta muttered. It was incredible, the effect he had on me. Even when I was upset with him he still made me better. If only I could learn to control the darkness when it comes to other people and myself.

"Something has to change about that," Eddie stated. "She can't be suffering through that forever." I grinned at him. Eddie was such a good guy, the big brother I never had.

"I can control it usually," I said. "Tonight was just so emotional that I let the magic over power me. And I'm pretty sure that if I stepped outside the wards it would've been harder for me to keep the ghosts away. Enough about me though, the Court's more important right now."

"All we can do is sit and wait," Dimitri explained. I could see in his eyes that at the moment he was definitely more concerned about me.

"Where's my mom?" I asked. The whole room broke into an array on grins and snickers. "What's so funny?"

"Your mom volunteered to sit with Kirova and wait for further news." Alberta answered. I gave her a look that said so what.

"I believe her exact words to me before going to the office was I'm only playing messenger so I don't have to deal with your little relationship," Dimitri chimed in.

"I take it she doesn't approve?" I didn't think she looked mad, but hey who knows.

"No," Emile said cracking up. "I honestly don't think she's that angry; at you at least. She found out that we were holding a bet on how long it would take for her to threaten Dimitri."

"Yeah," said another guardian. I think his names Jason. "She's conflicted because she wants to be the motherly figure, but she also wants Alberta to win. Alberta said the threat would never happen." Thank you Alberta.

Dimitri took me back to his room while we were waiting for more info. The whole time I could _feel_ him deciding whether to laugh or cringe at the bet about my mother. For myself, while I was cringing. He opened the door and I stepped inside. Much like my room, there wasn't a lot of personalization. Only a photo of his family and Western novels showed he lived there. I picked up one of the novels.

"Might as well read one of these to distract me," I muttered sitting on the bed. I mean they couldn't be that bad, right?

"I'm impressed," he whispered sliding up next to me. "I thought I would have to do a lot more convincing." He pressed a kiss right below my ear and my control wavered a little. But as much I would like to pretend I was ignorant to it, I knew the severity of the situation. Anything could've happened at court to any royal. Possibly even the Queen. The motto's _they come first._ Right now it didn't matter what I wanted or how much I wanted it (which was a lot). I had to be ready to act at a moment's notice. Which meant not being caught up with Dimitri.

So we sat side by side reading. I was actually kind of sweet. We had such a connection that even something as simple as reading the same page made me happy. I wished we could do this every day just to relax. I knew our jobs would take us away from each other, especially with Lissa going to Leigh, but this was something we could do to reconnect. Something for us.

A knock on the door interrupted our moment. I closed the door and gave Dimitri a quick peck.

"Comrade, do you know how it ends?" I asked following him to the door.

"Yes, but you're going to have to read to find out." I elbowed him and he opened the door. The look on the guardian's face was priceless. I guess they didn't expect us to be together. I don't know why.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything," he stuttered. Time to have some fun with this.

"Just a steamy romance," I answered. This time both of their faces made me laugh. "You two don't have to look so horrified I was talking about the novel." Relief crossed their faces and the conversation turned serious. "So are they ready for us?" He nodded and led the way to the guardian headquarters.

I was forced to stay outside while they discussed. So was Eddie. Frankly I thought it was a little cruel. Dangle some information above us and then leave us out. It's like taking candy from a baby before they even got the wrapper off. A badass baby of course because we're talking about me. Whatever. I'm great at listening through doors. I could be a freaking spy.

"She's going to want to be a part of this," I heard Dimitri say. "And we all know it's going to be hard to make her stay." Hell yeah it is.

"I know, but what about Castile? Should be include him?" Someone asked. I think it was the guy who knocked on our door.

"I think both of them our assets to us, but how much should we let them know?" Alberta questioned. It was nice to know they thought I was needed, but it would be even nicer if I knew what I was needed for.

"We should tell them everything. Like the traitor in the court, the attempted assignation on the Queen, and defiantly Tasha," Dimitri answered. There's my man sticking up for me!

"No not Tasha," Emile countered, "Rose is great and has learned a lot of control, but Tasha brings out the worst in her." You got that right. I stood there debating to burst in or not. Should I wait and be call or- hell I'm Rose Hathaway. Waiting isn't my style. I burst through the door with Eddie following behind me. He didn't look shocked that I disobeyed orders just that it took so long. Go figure.

"What about Tasha?" I demanded. Everyone turned their heads to Dimitri. I guess it was no his responsibility to tell me anything that would upset me. Maybe they thought there was less of a chance of me punching him.

"She escaped and her group attacked the queen. We're thinking about going after her, after all of them," he sighed. I could see it in their eyes. They weren't sure they wanted me to go. It was the Victor trail all over again. I had won in that one and I was going to get my way now. No way was I sitting back without a fight. This was my time to prove how serious I really was about protecting not just Lissa, but all Moroi. I was not going to wait for the danger to come to me.

"I'm going right?" I said forcefully. "I'm going right?"


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry it's so short! I pinky pinky pinky pinky promise that I will update tomorrow and it will be a nice long chapter. Thanks to everyone who has stayed with the story:) Enjoy!**

Chapter 11

Yes I was going. After a very vicious battle between Alberta and I, it was decided. I was victorious. Personally, I was ecstatic. My first real job as a guardian would be taking down Tasha. How awesome is that? Dimitri wasn't so found of the idea. Probably because I was bait, chum, the unlucky one, whatever you want to call it. The guardians were going to the complete wrong place looking for her. I would go to where she was and act like I hadn't been allowed to go and had snuck out to look for Tasha. It was kind of empowering to know the entire plan revolved around my reputation. Especially since the reputation was of taking action (some may say it's charging in without thinking, but I think taking action sounds better). Regardless, Dimitri was less then ecstatic about putting me in danger.

"I don't like this," he whispered right below my ear. We were back in his room. The flaw in the plan was no one really knew where Tasha was so we had to wait until scouts came back with information.

"Stop worrying!" I understood where he was coming from and trust me I would worry too. Just not as much as him.

"I can't Roza, Tasha's dangerous." His voice was strained.

"I'm dangerous too. And besides, this is the exact problem that we've tried to avoid. If you're obsessing about me, it's going to ruin your performance. What's going to happen when we have to protect our charges too? You have to stop." I hated being so harsh since I knew he was just trying to protect me, but what I was saying was true. There was another thing, though I would never tell him it. I wondered if maybe he didn't trust me. Did he still see me as the out of control girl at the Academy?

"You're right I just can't help it." Dimitri nuzzled closer to me. "I couldn't stand myself if anything happened to you." I tried to smile or reassure him, but my mind was elsewhere. Dimitri, being able to read me like a book, picked up on my discomfort. "What's wrong?" I could try to lie to him though he would probably see right through me. Better to tell the truth. Wow, you don't hear that from me often.

"I just feel like you still see me as your student." His face remained neutral and I started to dread that I was right. Then he crashed his lips to mine. All the dreads, and all other thought for that matter, flew out of my head. He pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes.

"Roza, I never saw you as my student. You were always so much more." And with that passion took over. Finally, I thought. I hated waited so long since the cabin and now here we were. Layers came off as we came closer and closer. All I could feel was him and his love for me. And then…someone knocked on the door.

"Ignore it," I breathed and continued kissing him. The knocking didn't stop. "Damn it!" I struggled to find my clothes and went to the door without glancing at Dimitri. I didn't trust myself to look back. I opened the door and sucked in a breath. It wouldn't be good to snap at Stan or Alberta.

"Hi Rosemarie." It was my mother. My mother had interrupted Dimitri and I. Oh there was going to be hell to pay.

"What?" I practically screamed. In an instant Dimitri had his hand at the small of my back. Not necessary, I wasn't going to attack her. Yet.

"I just wanted to talk about you two, you know." Great timing she had. And I was still filled with longing. Longing that was very quickly turning to rage. No darkness this time, just a pissed off daughter.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I'm kind of busy-" Dimitri coughed behind me and I changed what I was going to say. "Thinking about what's going on with Tasha." I don't think my mom bought it, but that's her problem not mine. Thankfully before she could call me out Stan appeared behind her.

"Our scouts found a lead. Tasha got impatient and tried to attack a royal before finding her group. We're lucky she made a mistake." Saved by the angry fire using Moroi.

"Who did she go after?" I asked, walking to headquarters.

"Adrian," Stan answered.


	12. Chapter 12

**Just like i promised, here's another chapter. The action's starting to come up:) Hope you enjoy. Please review it means so much!**

Chapter 12

Adrian? No that had to be wrong. When was the last time I saw him? It's been a while I have to admit. Still, I would've known when he left. He would have told me, right? Maybe not though. I never got a chance to go to my graduation party to see him. Maybe he was upset by me proclaiming my love for Dimitri in public. Oh god, I feel horrible.

"He'll be fine. It's not your fault at all," Dimitri said, picking up on my uneasiness, as we sat and waited.

"That's just it though! It may be my fault. I haven't spoken to him in forever. I've been two wrapped up in us and Tasha. I don't know if I did something to cause him to leave." He tried to put his arm around me, but I got up started pacing. I couldn't handle sitting still anymore. It was pure torture. But we still had a while to wait until all the information came in. So I decided to slip into Lissa's head.

It always amazes me what a relief slipping into her head is (expect for when she and Christian are locking lips of course). Feeling someone else's emotions besides your own frees you for a bit. Especially right now, when Lissa was calm and happy talking with Christian. Searching her mind I saw that Eddie had sprinted past them just a few minutes ago. He must have been called down to headquarters. He's probably in the room right now; I didn't bother to slip out and check.

"You ready for college?" Christian asked? Through the bond I felt a pang of sadness. Lissa didn't want to leave Christian anymore then I wanted to leave Dimitri. College would be good for her though. Life at the Academy for us was so screwed up that a chance at a normal experience will be a wanted change. Plus Lissa's a total school geek.

"Yeah sort of. It's kind of nerve-racking, but I'm guessing everyone gets those jitters." She had that right. Even I was a little nervous about starting and the only reason I was there was to protect her.

"What about your spot on the council?" Christian questioned. Now that Lissa was 18 and graduated she could take her official spot as the Dragomir princess. She was young, but already people were listening to her ingenious ideas. I'm convinced she'll make a huge difference.

"Not at all," she laughed. "I could barely handle the royals when I wasn't officially part of it. How can I do it now?" Lissa's fears were for nothing. She was practically born for this job. Christian knew that too.

"Are you kidding me? People respect you and the ones that don't still stop and listen. Pretty soon you'll have people around your finger. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be Queen!" I could practically feel her pale.

"Not Queen," she stuttered nervously, "not yet. Not any time in the near or distant future." I agreed with Christian. Lissa would be a kick ass Queen. I was shook out of her head before I heard his response. Probably a good thing because they were reaching their maximum time of not kissing. As I suspected Eddie was here with a picture perfect guardian mask on his face. I think he could almost rival Dimitri. Alberta cleared her throat and the room hushed. Finally, time for action.

"We have details on Tasha's attack on Adrain." A knot formed in my stomach. I sat down on Dimitri's lap and tried to push away my edginess. "Adrian's fine, barely a scratch. One of his guardians was badly burned, till he was healed with spirit by Adrian. The other one got away virtually unharmed. They say they got some pretty good blows on Tasha, even shot her twice. However when we laid eyes on her again, she was completely healed." Everyone was muttering not possible. A sick feeling came into me. Was it possible there was another spirit user? One that was playing for the wrong side. "We believe Robert Dashkov has joined Tasha's group."

"As in Victor Dashkov? He has a spirit user brother?" I exclaimed. No way. I didn't even know Victor had a brother, let alone one with such a rare power.

"Yes and he certainly has motive." He sure did. I'm sure Robert hated having his brother in jail. "This also puts us at a disadvantage. We know very little of spirit and he's been aware of it a lot longer than us. We're kind of walking in blind." That's a very scary thought. Alberta took a breath and Dimitri continued for her.

"We've nailed their base to an exact location. We are pretty sure not all of her followers are there, most likely the ones that have earned her trust. Saying this, we still believe there is a major amount of both Moroi and Damphirs there. She had gathered a lot of supporters." Another scary though. "There will be three groups, a main, a support, and Rose. Rose will approach the building and force Tasha out. Hopefully Tasha's ego will allow this to happen. Then Rose will lead Tasha away from the building, which the main group will then attack. Then the support group will find Rose and bring her and Tasha back to the Academy." It was a complicated plan, but it could work. Everyone was dismissed to prepare themselves. This is the first time we've fought a war against magic and not Strigoi.

"Belikov," I heard Alberta say. "Do you want to be in the main or support group?" She had asked him the wrong question. I knew he wanted to be in the support so he could make sure I was safe. However he would go with the main because that's where he was needed most.

"The main group," he replied, but not without hesitation. I was right. Duty comes first for him and for me now. I felt a pat on my back on turned around to Eddie. His guardian mask had slipped a little and excitement shone through his eyes. I guess Dimitri's still the master. Not that I was chastising Eddie. I was dying to end this once and for all.

"Hey Hathaway I'm in the support group," he remarked. That group only had four people in it, including him. "I get to come save your ass." I laughed along with him though I was truly glad he had my back. We had been through so much together it only seemed fitting that we would work together on this. Eddie walked away to find out more about his assignment and I went to Alberta and Dimitri to do the same.

"Ah Rose there you are," Alberta said. "I assume you want to know how you're getting Tasha's attention." I nodded. Dimitri was next to me stoic and like a statue so I reached out and grabbed his hand. Alberta acknowledged it by smiling and continued. "The base is surrounded by trees. Basically all you have to do it weave through the trees, shouting insults and challenges at Tasha to get her out. If she tries to come with others, mock her about not being able to fight battles on her own. We don't want you to have to fight more people than necessary." She paused as if seeing if she had remembered everything. "Oh yeah and make it clear that your there by yourself and know you can take her. Like it or not you both have sizable egos, let yours show through." She chuckled and walked away.

Dimitri turned me towards him and wrapped his arms around me. We had a little time to spare as we were leaving a little before the sun came up.

"How are you holding up?" he asked. I could tell he was still worried for me, but he had dialed it back.

"Ready to go," I replied honestly, pressing my lips to his. What I didn't say was how much I was looking forward to taking bitch Tasha down.


	13. Chapter 13

**So sorry for the wait! I hope this chapter makes up for it. I promise promise promise that I will update very soon. If not tomorrow then defiantly the next day. Enjoy this chapter, it's the fighting you've been waiting for:)**

Chapter 13

So maybe slapping Dimitri was overkill, but they told me to make it convincing. We assumed that Tasha had spies in or around the academy and it was decided that I would make a huge scene when Dimitri "told" me I couldn't go to find Tasha. I was told, and I quote, "to be as real and angry as possible without making it seem like a crappy soap opera" by Alberta. So Dimitri and I set up in the middle of the courtyard. Everyone was staring at us. I guess being in love with your mentor makes you a celebrity. Who knew? Anyways, he told me I wasn't allowed to go and I screamed what, begged a little, tried the- if –you- loved- me -angle, and finally became very angry. I let myself get caught up in the moment, something I heard good actors do, and BAMN! My hand connected with his face. You could actually see the mark from where I hit him. I felt sort of bad, but knew it wouldn't bruise so I wasn't that torn up. Besides it was satisfying to catch him off guard. I tried to turn away, but he grabbed my arm. Damn.

"What was that?" he whispered low so only I could hear him. His face read very angry, very pissed, but I saw amusement in his eyes.

"I thought you needed help with your acting. You weren't acting surprised enough." To keep up with the act I shouted, "Let me go!" He pulled me close for a second longer, whispered be safe, and let me rip myself out of his arms. I thought we were pretty convincing.

"Relationship troubles?" Jessie sneered. If I didn't have to go fake escape I would have punched him.

"Just a bump in the road Jessie, but I'd be careful. I predict a whole lot of complications in your way." Most of them caused by me of course. I went to the designated escape area and slipped past the wards. I was more than glad to be part of the plan, though part of me wished it was less planned. I'm more of a make it up as you go kind of person. Fewer things will go wrong if you have fewer expectations. I still went along with it. More than anything I wanted Tasha out of my life forever. It seems wrong to say this as Christian's friend, but I just want her dead. She's the type of person who will only cause trouble alive.

It wasn't that hard to find their base with the directions I was given. I was told there were guards surrounding the whole place. Dimitri thought I should sneak past them, it was the safer way. I though it looked cowardly, like I wasn't ready for the challenge. I ended up walking straight through them screaming the whole time.

"Tasha come out; come out wherever you are!" The guards froze, not sure what to do. "Come fight you baby!" If I were them I would still attack. "You made me and Dimitri fight today, you know that?" Not that I was complaining that I didn't have to fight anyone yet. "Come out and prove how bad ass you are!" Actually I was kind of disappointed. I had a lot of built of energy and was dying to get rid of it. "Stop ruining my life from behind closed doors and fight me now!"

By the time the guards had recovered their wits I was already at the building. It was a huge concrete square, probably some abandoned factory the forest had grew around. Tasha still hadn't appeared. I was wasting time, the other groups arrival was drawing nearer. It was crucial we got Tasha on her own. She was as slick as a snake. I know she would let her whole group go down as long as she could escape. The only way to make sure we had her was one on one. No army to hide behind. Right now, I wasn't convinced she was going to come out. Time to shoot low.

"Tasha, even though we had an argument Dimitri and I are still in love." The guards started inching towards me, cautious. Maybe Tasha had warned them about me. I put my hands up to make them think I was less off a threat. "He loves me. He will never love you again. Ever." That's all it took. She came rushing out of the house, fingers blazing, literally. If Tasha had been thinking she would have brought a gun, but as expected she didn't. Her mind was being controlled by crazy emotions, jealously, rage, she looked truly insane.

"I heard about the fight," she practically spat. "Heard you got him nice." We were right, she had a spy.

"Yeah it wasn't pretty, but I'm going to hurt you worse." With that I took off. I heard her shout for the guards to stay away. She was acting just as expected. She wanted me all to herself. Running was easy; thanks to Dimitri forcing me to run all the time, but I was itching to turn around and fight. Finally I saw the marker indicating I could stop. It was time. I stopped dead and whipped around. My senses heightened as everything came into clarity. This was going to be Tasha's last time in the open. She had attacked my party and Adrian. She had even admitted to planning an assassination on Queen. When, not if, when I caught her, she was done. There was no way I was losing this. Not to her.

The problem was she was such a good fighter. There was craziness in her eyes, but she used it to her advantage. Her movements were quick and strong, plus she had magic on her side. Though it did seem weaker than usual. We had planned to tire her out with the running and while that worked, I didn't think that was it. She seemed slow, pained. Reality hit me.

"Robert didn't heal you all the way did he?" While she didn't stop struggling, she certainly took notice of my words. "He thought that you would just dump him once you were healthy, so he left you hanging." Tasha didn't respond, but her eyes betrayed her. I was on the right track. "And torture didn't work because he knew you needed him. Robert's crafty, like his brother." With the new knowledge that she wasn't one hundred percent I began to take more chances. My movements didn't become reckless; they just turned to the offensive side.

I began to strike and kick, avoiding her fire. Again I was struck of how good of a fighter she really was. It made it kind of nervous for Dimitri's group. However Tasha was the best of the Moroi and even then I was starting to overpower her.

I thought I had a clear strike at pulling her down. The excitement of ending the fight made me a little less cautious as I reached out for her arm. Flames shot at me, enveloping my shoulder. I pushed through it and tackled her to the ground. I threw my shoulder into the grass to suffocate the fire. Remembering my first fight with Tasha at the field experience I turned her onto her stomach. I'm not sure how long I waited there, sitting on her back. My shoulder was as painful as it gets and my ear was slightly burned to. I didn't know about my face. I didn't want to. Finally I heard the car appear. I relaxed slightly, ready for Eddie to come and help me. I couldn't wait to see Dimitri and get my shoulder checked out. Maybe, just maybe, I would let Lissa heal me. Especially if the fire had got my face at all.

I turned around and immediately let out a shocked gasp. Three Moroi were behind me, all in an offensive stance. I might have been able to take them if I hadn't let myself out of battle mode. Stupid, stupid me. By letting myself calm down, I had released all the adrenaline out of my body. The pain in my shoulder was beginning to become over bearing and my slight surprise had allowed Tasha to get up. I was out numbered, injured, and had Tasha as an enemy. All of a sudden they jumped me. Two of them, not including Tasha, were fire users; the other air. After Tasha was securely on top of them they stood back, wielding their magic. They were daring me to try to move, not that I was going to. Tasha was being purposely ruff to my shoulder and I was starting to see stars. A black boot came over my head and I descended into darkness. The last thing I heard was Tasha,

"I agree with you, I will never have Dimitri. But sweetie, neither will you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey I know thus chapter was supposed to be updated yesterday, but one day late is not that bad right?:p Anyways thanks for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 14

I've woken up with plenty of hangovers, but nothing compared to the pounding in my head that came from getting kicked. I had to resist the urge to ask for a mirror to see if I had the outline of a boot imprinted in my head. I was locked in a tiny concrete room with one small window high up on the wall. I was left untied, which I thought was pretty stupid of Tasha until I realized that there was no way out. The window seemed unbreakable and even if I did manage to shatter it, it wasn't big enough for me to squeeze through. The door was sturdy and nothing in the room could be quickly converted into a weapon.

I had been kidnapped once before at Spokane. Then I had been beyond terrified. Now I was just angry. The universe was giving everything it had to ruin my life beyond repair. I was absolutely done with it.

"Tasha!" I shouted, seriously beginning to question my sanity. I mean I didn't even know if she could hear me, let alone if she was near me at all. "You want to lock me up in here? Fine! Go ahead. Just know that if you make one wrong move you're finished. Done, gone, the end, finite!" So they were pretty big words considering I could barely move anymore since my shoulder and head were so painful. I wasn't going down without a fight, whether it be physical or verbal.

I don't know how long I sat there; it could have been an hour or five days. Dimitri had once told me that the true definition of insanity was doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. We were training and I had kept trying to punch him in exactly the same place. Each time he blocked me and I tried it again and again. Way too easily he had my arms pinned to my side and started with his Zen lesson. I had tuned out most of it, but the thing about insanity stayed with me. I guess since Lissa has continuously questioned whether spirit has been affecting her mentally. I remembered it now because I've spent most of my imprisonment thrashing and yelling, thinking that Dimitri would come into my rescue. But right now that wasn't happening and I was wasting energy. Tasha could do whatever she wanted, but she was not going to push me to insanity. So I sat and I waited and my patience paid off. Tasha came strolling through the door.

"Hello Rose," she said. I tried to leap at her, but she circled me with flames before I could move an inch. There was no way I could make it through the fire. It was hotter than hell. "Do you like the home I made for you? You're going to stay here until I'm sick of you." Tasha may not fit into Dimitri's definition of insanity, but she was defiantly crazy. There was a glint in her eye that worried me.

"You're not going to beat me."

"I already have," she laughed. "You want to know your mistake? Well actually you had two. One was you trusted that no one in your precious guardian circle would betray you. Obviously you were wrong. I knew you were coming from the beginning." That explained why the guards hadn't attacked. They were waiting, expecting. "Secondly you were way too confident. You thought you knew me, knew my every action play by play. You didn't even consider that you needed to bring a gun. It would've helped, don't ya think?" I wanted to ask what had become of Dimitri's group and call her few choice names. It wouldn't help though. All it would do is make that smug smile on her face a little bigger.

"Go to he-" My threat was interrupted when a frantic looking Moroi burst through the door. If I wasn't in such sucky circumstances I would have laughed. Her face was priceless. Before she could get out one word Dimitri came through after her. For a moment I thought I was hallucinating, till I smelt his after shave. He easily tackled Tasha to the ground and like that it was over. My imprisonment was done.

"How long have I been in here?" the excitement of being rescued momentarily over powered the pain of my burns.

"Two days," Dimitri answered. His voice was so even, so unemotional that most people would look at this situation and think he didn't care one bit. However, I could see the slight shift of his jaw and feel the intense amount of feeling in his gaze. He had been so worried.

"How did you find me so quickly?" As far as I knew Tasha hadn't left any trail.

"A tracking device," he murmured.

"A what?"

"We knew that there was a possibility something would go wrong so we wanted a back up. We also knew you wouldn't like the idea of it so we kept it a secret." I glared at him, but couldn't stay angry and ended up laughing. He didn't join in, but gave one his rare smiles. Dimitri motioned towards the door and I shook my head. The initial shock of joy was starting to fade and searing pain replaced it.

"I can't move. It hurts." My words were brutally simple and I saw rage overcome his features. He had Tasha cuffed and was ignoring her until now. He kicked out and hit her straight in the arm. I swear I heard something crack.

"She fell down the stairs," he said. I don't know if it was the surprise of seeing him so unnecessarily violent or just the whole situation, but I burst into hysterics. He called into his handy-dandy-walkie-talkie and someone came down to drag Tasha to the van. Dimitri sat me on the bed and held me. Earlier I had said that I hadn't been scared. Turns out I had been lying to myself big time. I wasn't so much scared of Tasha, though as the thought that I would never get out. I had been terrified that this concrete cube would be my new home. With that disturbing idea even Dimitri's arms didn't help slow the tears.


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's next installment! Thanks again for all the reviews, they are so appreciated. This story is going to be coming to a close in a few chapters I think, but not yet! I hope you enjoy:)**

Chapter 15

The spy turned out to be some random guardian I didn't know; even Alberta barely recognized his name. I suppose that's why he joined Tasha. He felt far more appreciated on her side and I didn't entirely blame him. Dimitri and my mom were famous because of their accomplishments, but truth is being a guardian isn't such a glamorous job. Apparently that reality shoved the spy a little too hard in the wrong direction. Alberta had suspected that the spy was in with the guardians so she and Dimitri made the backup plan. They arrived at Tasha's base earlier than expected so they didn't have time to sneak out and put the tracker on me. On the outside I was fuming about not being told the extra plan, but deep down I was grateful. Who knows where I would be if they couldn't find me that easily. Tasha and her crew were put in jail somewhere (well at least the ones that weren't killed on the raid) and that was that. Not really of course. We knew that wasn't the end; Tasha can't be the only mastermind that dislikes the royal system.

Lissa healed my injuries as soon as I got back to the academy and two days later we went to the Royal Court. It was bitter sweet leaving my school. On one hand it was the only place I've ever lived, not counting the two year leave Lissa and I took, and it was kind of sad leaving. Still this meant a new part of my life. I could protect Lissa and have Dimitri. I was turning a new page as they say. And it felt good.

Arriving at the court was a momentous occasion. Sure I've been there before, but not as a guardian. Dimitri held my hand and smiled proudly at me. It was surprising how easily we got over the Tasha thing. Part of it was the fact that such big things were going on in our lives besides that. The other reason was we were both so willing to put it in our past that we didn't want to dwell on it anymore then we had too. The same thing couldn't be said about Christian. He had stayed strong through most of the ordeal, but I guess seeing your Aunt kidnap your girlfriend's best friend sends you over the edge. Lissa is the only one he'll talk to and even then she only gets vague responses. Most of the time he just hides his face away. It is strange and melancholy to see him in such a bad state, without his usual snarky comments. I know he will eventually get over it, but it'll be a long time.

Our first night at court was awesome. They let us explore and be with our friends. We new guardians didn't even have to guard our charges, though Eddie and I still was careful. We were safe from Storgoi inside the wards, but the threat of people like Tasha was ever looming. Lissa, Christian, Eddie and I all ate at some diner. Mia stopped by for a while and we had a great time. Christian didn't say anything, but cracked a few smiles. Everyone was to stay in guest housing for the night. Most Moroi would be picked up by their parents in the morning and take their guardians with them. It was unsettling feeling knowing that a lot of the people I grew up with I wouldn't see again. Luckily I got to room with Lissa. It would have been better to be with Dimitri, but he had to meet with the other guardians. Still having one last night with Lissa before we officially entered the real world was good. We watched movies, ate popcorn and laughed until we passed out. Sleep brought the familiar feeling of a spirit dream. I had wondered when or if I would talk to Adrian again. I had missed him, though I'd never give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

I was back at the academy, walking the grounds. My pajamas had carried over into the dream world, but quickly they changed into jeans and a tank top with roses on it. Adrian humor.

"Little Damphir," he said coming up from behind me. Apparently that nick-name wasn't going away any time soon. "I heard you had a run in with Tasha, like me." As always he looked messily handsome with his deep green eyes and untidy brown hair.

"All's well that ends well, right?" It felt refreshing talking to him. I would never love Adrian the way I loved Dimitri, but he was very important to me. He was like the annoying, drunk older brother I never had.

"You of all people should know that's not the case." He was somber tonight, not at all like his usual self. Spirit was catching up to him again. I just hoped he could handle it.

"Fair point. Where are you Adrian?" I hadn't heard anything about his whereabouts since he left the Academy. I was a little worried, silly as it may seem.

"Here, there, everywhere, but no need to fret I'm coming to Court tomorrow." The spirit was affecting him more and more. He had a little crazy in his eyes, not like physco Tasha crazy, but a sad kind of insanity.

"Are you okay? You seem out of it," I stated. Just like that he snapped out of it. I saw the humor come back into his eyes and the darkness seep out. The only problem is it always comes back.

"Suddenly worried about me little Damphir?" he asked jokingly. Good old Adrian.

"Nah just self preserving. Wouldn't want you to do something stupid on my watch."

"Nice to know." The area around me started to become blurry. "You're being woken up. See you."

"Bye," I managed to get out before slipping awake. Lissa was on my bed shaking me. Not sensing immediate danger I tried to resist getting up. I wasn't a morning person at all, something I was going to have to work on now.

"Wake up," she practically screamed. "Dimitri and Christian are on their way over with breakfast and coffee and then our first real day at court starts! Can you believe it?" I couldn't, but that didn't mean I was ready to awaken just yet. I mumbled something that might have resembled wake me up when they get here and fell back asleep. My slumber was yet again interrupted and I opened my eyes to find myself staring into Dimitri's. He kissed my head.

"Morning sleeping beauty." I smiled. Looking over his shoulder I saw Christian and Lissa drinking coffee. Christian looked a tiny bit better, which was a small improvement, but a step forward all the same.

"Do I have to move?" I asked. Honestly how hard was it to let a girl sleep in?

"We brought donuts." The day got better.

"Chocolate?" I asked hopeful. He nodded, leaning over for a kiss. I leaped out of bed before he could get one and laughed at his outraged expression. Coming back over I pressed my lips against his. "What did you expect Comrade, they're donuts."


	16. Chapter 16

**Here's the next chapter. Enjoyyyyyyyyyy! Please review!**

Chapter 16

I had been guarding Lissa for four months now, two of them without Dimitri. The transition to full time guardian was surprisingly easy, especially with Eddie by my side. The first real day of my job the older guardians had given a 3 hour lecture on guarding. A lot of the stuff I knew already and most of the rest was common sense. After that it was a summer to remember, as cliché as that sounds. I got to be with Dimitri almost all the time, the only exception was when Lissa had meetings; she was very busy for a Moroi princess. We sometimes went outside the wards in which case Eddie and I would take turns being near and far guard. Mostly we stayed at court though. All five of us knew that soon Lissa would be going off to college and our group would be split. And it was. The day Lissa, Eddie, and I left for Leigh was tearful. Though I am proud to admit I did not shed one tear, not even a tiny one. Lissa was a sobbing mess. Christian would hold her and every once and a while say something that made her laugh. Then she would just cry harder and the cycle would start over again. I don't know how long it was before Eddie and I pulled her away, but I was ready to go. We were taking a plane because it was safer than driving. No one wanted risk an attack by Strigoi or Moroi rebel.

College was pretty cool. We couldn't go to the dorm parties or drink because it was too dangerous, but that didn't really matter. Classes were sort of stressful though I didn't really get freaked out over them since the only reason I was here was for Lissa. She, being the brain she is, wasn't having a lot of trouble with her classes. Sometimes she would get spacey during lectures or homework and stare at a picture of Christian, but she was focused which was good. Based on her scene at court I had been nervous she wouldn't take to college if Christian wasn't there. Being away from Dimitri wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be either. Sure I missed him with every single part of me every second of the day, but we talked on the phone every night and video chatted at least twice a week. I missed holding his hand and kissing him, oh how I missed kissing him. The thing was we were so comfortable just talking to each other it was almost like we were in the same room. Everything wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close.

"Lisaaaaa," I groaned, rolling out of bed. "What time is it?" It was Friday and Lissa only had one class. However it was at 8 a.m. So after it I had gone back to bed. "Four, but you better get up we're leaving for dinner in 45 minutes," she screamed from the bathroom. Once a week the three of us went out to eat. Of course we went early to give us as much time as possible with the sun.

"Did I really sleep that long?" I asked barging my way into the bathroom. Lissa was drying her hair. I glanced at the shower, but decided to forego it. I had showered this morning and had thrown my hair up. No need to waste extra energy.

"Yeah, but you stayed up all night reading so you deserved your little nap." I would hardly have called it a little nap nonetheless I agreed with Lisa. She finished with the blow dryer and I took it from her.

"Look at us," I said smiling. "A couple of college gals doing normal stuff." Lissa smiled too though it was probably from the fact I sounded like an idiot when I said gals.

"I know it's nice." That's all she said, but it wasn't necessary to elaborate. Our whole lives had been screwed up and this little break into the norm was well nice. I finished getting ready, throwing on a red t-shirt with a lace back and applying heavy eye liner, it was a Friday night after all.

We went to this small American diner near campus. It had the best burgers, fries, and milkshakes. Basically it was my heaven. We had one table that we would always go to. It was perfect for guarding Lissa because our backs could be to the wall and we could watch everything. This time though there were people sitting in our seats. For about two seconds I looked around for somewhere else to sit until I realized who were in the seats. A tall, muscular, hot badass Russian and a tall, black haired, annoying, freak were sitting side by side. I sprinted the short distance and jumped into Dimitri's lap. Throwing my arms around him I got lost in our kiss. I couldn't believe he was here! We just kept kissing and kissing, the need to simply touch him was so strong.

"Excuse me," Eddie said. "Hate to interrupt you guys eating each other's faces, but I would like to sit down and order some actual food." I laughed and Dimitri slide over, pulling me next to him. We stayed at the diner for a while, eating and enjoying each other's company. A while later Dimitri handed me a receipt. It was for a hotel down the road. I sprang up and pulled him with me, nearly knocking over Eddie. I could hear laughter as we walked out of the diner, but I didn't care. I had Dimitri all to myself for one night, or so I thought.

How was I supposed to know that three of Tasha's supporters had escaped when we had attacked their base? How was I to know that the three decided to go after me tonight and finding Lissa, Christian, and Eddie instead decided to attack anyways? How was I to predict that while I was running my hands and mouth all over Dimitri, Lissa was being rushed the ER with serious injuries and Eddie being carted off to jail for killing one of the attackers. I wasn't. That's how cruel life really is. Just when you think everything is going right it all comes crashing down. Christian called me from outside the operating room and explained everything. Lissa had been stabbed multiple times and bruised pretty badly along with serious head trauma. The other two rebels had been restrained by others in the diner. Luckily the Moroi weren't stupid enough to use their magic in public. Even the Alchemists would have a hard time cleaning that up. After Christian's call Dimitri and I rushed to the car he had rented. One the way there it was silent until I decided I had to speak. He interrupted me though.

"Roza I know what you are going to say. I know the grief trust me. I know what this is going to do to you, to us" I wanted to scream that he didn't know, but he did. His first charge had been killed while he was off watch. What he had said was echoing in my head. To us. To us. To us.

"How could we leave them with just Eddie?" I practically screeched.

"I know it means nothing, but they weren't alone. I had other guardians come in to replace us. They just weren't fast enough." You could cut the tension in the car with a knife. His voice was laced with emotions; I could see tears on his face.

"That doesn't change anything. Because we were together Lissa might die." There was finality in my voice. Dimitri knew it was coming, but that didn't keep him from flinching. "I can't be with you right now. You know how it feels and even if she does make it that doesn't change how guilty I feel. I'm sorry I'm making this decision for us; I just can't. I need space from you for a while, until I get everything in my mind sorted out" I felt like I should have said so much more, but I didn't have to. Dimitri knew me inside and out. He knew I loved him and that I always would. He also could see that this was too much for me. I had to end us. I couldn't keep the guilt inside of me because one day it would just explode and make it even harder for him and me to ever have a future together.

"I understand Roza. Just know I'll always be here waiting. Always." We arrived at the hospital and I leapt out of the car. I couldn't stand being next to him for one more second. The pain in his voice was so raw and obvious. He understood my actions, but they still greatly pained him.

"I know, but right now I have to choose Lissa." Those were the worst words I could have ever said. The really bad part is I meant every single one of them.

It's funny after everything we had been threw it was over. Sure it wasn't good-bye forever, but it was goodbye. It seemed surreal how quickly everything had changed. That's just life I guess. I ran to the nearest bathroom, locked myself in, and cried. I cried for Lissa and me and Dimitri and us. I told myself that it was the right thing and that it just hurt so much because I loved him so much. And I really did. But loving him took me away from Lissa and right now she needed me. Truthfully I don't know what I'm going to do after Lissa leaves the operation room, one way or another, or when I'll go back to Dimitri. All that mattered was my best friend was in trouble and the only thing I could do was guarantee that it wouldn't happen again. Even if that meant letting go of a major part of my heart. Even if it meant letting go of Dimitri.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry this took so long...I wanted to get the last chapter perfect. Yep that's right this story is officially done. Thanks to everyone who supported this story. I had a great time writing it and I hope you enjoy this last chapter.:) **

**If you liked this story I'M STARTING ANOTHER STORY, also based on Vampire Academy. It will be called Ripple Effect. It focuses on both Rose and Victoria (Dimitri's sister). It takes place after Last Sacrifice (all the events of the series have happened) and is about the enemies Dimitri made while being a Strigoi catching up to and effecting him and Rose and Victoria. PRETTY PLEASE LOOK IT UP! I will have the first chapter posted in a few days. I promise the story is better at the summary, I suck at summaries :p **

**Without further ado... the ending!**

Chapter 17

One year. One long year. One long, painful year without Dimitri. It was the worst year of my life and yet I'm glad I went through it. You learn a lot about yourself when you're at your lowest point.

Lissa barely survived. I was terrifyingly close to having to speak at her funeral. After getting to the hospital she was in surgery for what seemed like centuries. She had internal bleeding in three places, including her brain. She had a huge stab wound in her side and her body was in complete shock. They managed to stabilize her, but, and I quote the surgeon, "without a huge miracle I'm sorry to say she isn't going to make it. She needs a knight in shining armor, three wishes from a genie, and lots of prayers." I had never been a strong believer in God, but in that moment I had no other choice. I was helpless. The fighting was already over, the rebels dead or in jail. All I could do was sit there and pray to whoever was up there, God or something else, that Lissa wouldn't die. I'd like to say all that praying and hoping paid off, but I can't be sure. Because a miracle did come in the form of Adrian. He healed her to the point where she wasn't in immediate danger. I am forever thankful for him for coming, for being Lissa's knight. She stayed in the hospital for four more days (the doctors were shocked at how quickly she healed) and Adrian used spirit to get her back to full health as soon as she released. I hadn't told her about Dimitri and I yet, though Christian, Adrian, and Eddie knew. Eddie got out of jail fairly easily. Seeing that I was feeling horrible, Eddie bought a bunch of fake tattoos and claimed he had gotten them from inmates. His story was completely unbelievable, but somehow it made me laugh.

The hardest part of my breakup with Dimitri was when he got assigned to another Moroi. Some selfish part of my brain thought that he would stick around and I would get to have him without really having him. It was a stupid hope though and as soon as he knew Lissa would live he was off to his new guard. The person who replaced him, Jake Riley, was actually pretty funny, but he just wasn't Dimitri. No one was Dimitri and I was miserable all the time. Yet I couldn't bring myself to go back. What had happened with Lissa could never happen again and if that meant giving up my life then so be it. They come first, the age old motto. Back at the academy I had believed that maybe that was changing. Maybe we were starting to be equal, but we aren't equal. Damphirs will always be stronger, faster, better protectors and no matter how hard we try to deny that fact, you can't deny genetics. We will always have to protect the weaker (don't get me wrong I know Moroi aren't completely helpless, but Damphirs are naturally more powerful). Even if it means not protecting ourselves, body and heart included. I don't know who Dimitri was assigned to and I didn't have the courage to ask. I think it would have been worse to know where he was and still not go to him. It made me feel like a better person to claim that I had no way of knowing where he was, but if I did I would go right to him. I honestly don't know if I would have ever gone back to him if the funeral hadn't happened. All I know is death brought us back together which is ironic since the potential of death was what tore us apart.

I was having a relatively good day when I got the call. Lissa and I were shopping in the court for dresses because well you could never have enough dresses. We hadn't gotten anything yet, but I had my eye on a bronze silk slip dress. I knew it would hug every curve on my body and look great. I was debating whether or not to pick it up when my phone rang. I answered it and put the phone up to my ear. The number I.D. was one I didn't recognize, but most likely it was one of the guardian stations.

"Guardian Hathaway this is Station 12." Yup, I was right. I had no idea where Station 12 was located. "I have some regretful information to inform you of." My mind immediately flashed to Dimitri. It had been about a year since I had last seen him. What if he was injured or worse? I didn't know what I would do with myself. It's a little scary how cruelly self-centered people can be. A year had passed and I didn't once go back to him and I probably caused him pain yet all that mattered was the fact that I would never have the option of going to back to him if he died. They say some people don't want something until they can't have it. Was I one of those girls? None of that really mattered though because it wasn't Dimitri who had been killed. It was someone else close to me. I had to attend my first funeral as a real guardian. Not exactly an event you want to put in your scrap book.

"Are you okay?" Lissa asked before thinking about her words. "Of course you're not. Sorry stupid question." I managed a weak smile. Lissa was looking very professional in her black pencil skirt and jacket. A speck of her personality showed through with the pink roses in her hair. Lissa was a bright happy person; there was no way she was going to be completely in somber in all black. I however had no problem with an entirely dark outfit. I was wearing a simple black dress with spaghetti straps and black heals. No color for Rosemarie.

Today was going to be hard to get through. Lissa and Christian were required to sit in one of the middle rows, for safety reasons. They weren't allowed to sit next to me in the front row. Adrian was off on some trip with his parents (which he was not at all happy about) and Eddie was on duty. I had to face this all on my own. There would be no one to hold my hand as the funeral for Janine Hathaway commenced.

I really didn't listen to the priest. I remember at Mason's funeral the priest had said kind, caring words, but the words had nothing to do with Mason. I knew it would be the same way here, at my mom's funeral. So I just tuned it out. My mom had died while protecting her charge. It's an honorable death, but still a death. I had cried for hours straight when I found out and have been numb since. Finally the priest finished and it was my turn to talk. I had thought long and hard about what I was going to say and hoped it would be representative of how remarkable she had really been.

"I spent most of my life hating, resenting my mom. Then she came to the academy. It was the first time I had really seen her and talked to her. And I spent most of that time hating her too. I thought she didn't care about me. I was convinced I knew all her motives and reasons. It's funny how wrong I was. Gradually I learned she really did love about me. We still hit bumps, but that's what mother and daughters do. They fight. Granted we fought with our fists more than our words, but that's expected when you put two, type A, fire cracker personalities together on a sparing mat." There was a small murmur of laughter in the crowd. At this point I was in tears. I hadn't spoken at Mason's funeral. They hadn't wanted me too saying it would have thrown me over the edge. I hadn't agreed with them did, but I did now. Speaking at my mom's funeral is the hardest thing I ever had to do and I was stronger than I had been when Mason had died. I wouldn't have been able to make it through then. I wasn't sure I could make it through now. "My mom was so brave, so strong. She had to choose between family and work. I was angry at her for her decision, but now I understand how hard it was for her to make. She dedicated her life to Moroi in the hope that I would grow up and do the same. And I completely intend to. Janine Hathaway taught me a lot about duty and honor, a lesson that no school or person could teach as well as she did." I had more to say. Little things about who she was and what she went through. I just didn't think they were necessary. People knew who she was. They knew what an amazing role model she had been.

Finally the burial began. It was a slow, painful process, but I stayed diligent and silent. It was what my mom would have done. Even after speaking next to her coffin I couldn't believe she was actually gone. It was so surreal. I just kept crying and crying. Lissa managed to leave her seats and come over to me. She hugged me and whispered "its okay, its okay". I knew she understood it wasn't. She had lost her whole family. She knew how much it hurt. Looking over my shoulder she pulled away and I turned around confused. Standing in front of me was Dimitri. Right then it didn't matter what had happened to Lissa. Somehow we would learn to protect her instead of each other. All that mattered was my mom had just been put in the ground and I needed him. I needed him to comfort me and be there for me and love me.

A part of me had worried that he wouldn't want me back. Looking into his eyes I knew that fear had been silly. He meant what he had said about waiting and being there for me. He pulled me into his arms and held me close.

"Roza," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. His love didn't bring any justice to the situation; it didn't bring my mom back to life. But it made things better. Dimitri always made things better.


End file.
